Page 46 of Love to Fear You


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He brings the knife between my legs, and when he traces it along my inner thigh, my soul leaves my body.

A tug, followed by the ripping of lace, and my panties are torn in half. I clench when the cold air brushes my sex, which is on full display for Alek.

He rakes his bottom lip between his teeth, his gaze enraptured with my pussy. When he brings the knife to my entrance, I gasp at the cold metal against my skin.

I keep my eyes shut, certain he’s about to mutilate me at knifepoint. If I fight back, that knife will do unspeakable damage to me.

Which means I’m powerless to stop it.

I’m terrified and shaking as he drags the flat side of the blade along my slit. I’m disoriented and dizzy, drunk on a strange concoction of alcohol and fear.

This is wrong. Everything about this is wrong because I’m not supposed to like it. And yet…

The knife pulls away, and it takes me a moment to gather the courage to open my eyes.

When I do, Alek is looming above me, inspecting the object in his hand. His insane grin grows wider, and at this point, he’s toeing the line of a caricature.

“It’s soaking wet,” he says.

His tongue darts out, lapping my arousal off the blade. His hooded gaze is trained on me as he licks it clean, which keeps me bound in my own body, unable to move.

“Dmitry got off easy this time, but if he touches you again, you will see what a sociopath looks like. Do I make myself clear?”

I nod.

He rises to his feet, giving me one last look. A look with the promise of something new, something dark.

And then he’s gone. He leaves as fast as he came, more phantom than human.

How long have I been here?

I lie on the cold floor, my unfocused eyes aimed upward toward the red lights. I’m not in my own body right now, trapped in a surreal limbo.

Somebody else was the victim of what just happened. Someone else’s pussy was nearly fileted like the fresh catch of the day.

Because what just occurred does not make rational sense. How can I be afraid for my life while molten desire scorches every inch of my body?

I should be traumatized after that, and I probably am. I did not expect my night to include assault at knifepoint. And I certainly didn’t expect to like it.

Something is definitely wrong with me. I’m all for pushing the envelope of my sexuality, but that went so far beyond the realm of my darkest fantasies I’m not even sure what sex is anymore.

It isn’t getting off while humping sharp objects. That’s just… insanity. Throw me in a straitjacket and lock me in a padded room, because I’ve lost my damned mind.

I manage to climb to my feet and find my way out of the maze, and when I emerge, the fresh air slaps me across the face. Mother Nature is trying to knock some sense into me.

But I’m way past the point of common sense. I left it behind along with my shredded panties in the house of mirrors.

“Willow!”

I turn toward Prisha’s familiar voice, which is another dose of reality I’m not prepared for.

“What happened in there?” she asks, examining me up and down. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“I’m not so sure I didn’t.”

Prisha leads me over to a bench and makes me sit. She remains standing, folding her arms while pinning me with a worried look. “Did you run into Johanna in there? Did she do something to you?”

“Johanna?” I repeat. Nothing is making sense.

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