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That familiar, insane grin spreads across his face, and he chuckles low as he drags the gun down my body. It follows the same trail his fingers just traced, pausing between my breasts. I swear my heartbeat thumps against the barrel through my ribcage, and Death, so close, presses his scythe to my throat.
I can’t breathe. I can’t swallow. The only sensation my body knows right now is pure terror.
Alek lowers the gun, and when he reaches my skirt, he uses the barrel to lift the hem. His hungry gaze dips to my center, where his thumb is still working against me.
“I will destroy every pair of panties you wear in my presence.”
He withdraws his thumb, his hand grabbing the thin lace of my thong and ripping it open with a snap. I gasp at the noise, and Alek lets out a vicious laugh as he lifts the tattered underwear to his nose. Closing his eyes, he takes a deep inhale to memorize my scent before stuffing it into his breast pocket.
“They’re soaked through,” he says before bringing his thumb to his mouth. He sucks it clean while watching me through his lidded gaze. “Fear arouses you; give in to it. Give in to me.”
He pushes the barrel of the gun to my entrance, and the metal is still cold despite my breath warming it up moments ago. The hot tears begin to pour down my face as quiet sobs stick in my throat.
Alek moves the gun in small circles, burrowing inside of me in slow, gentle strokes. The metal is freezing against my warm center, but the slick essence coating my opening eases it in.
My chin dips to look at the sight, with the tip of the gun disappearing little by little between my legs. Alek’s finger rests on the trigger, and I’m both horrified and captivated, unable to look away.
There’s something raw about this moment, something forbidden and taboo and fucked up in all the right ways. Fear keeps my pulse elevated and my blood pounding, though the moan that falls from my lips is unexpected.
“Your tight pussy won’t take it in any further,” Alek whispers, his free hand caressing my cheek with surprising tenderness. “Now, I want you to get yourself off.”
I glance up at him, and when our eyes meet, he licks his lips. Transfixed, I give him a slow nod before reaching down between my legs. My fingers brush against the gun, which brings me pause, but with a deep breath, I press my middle and ring finger to my clit.
Alek keeps the gun still, allowing me to grind into it at my own pace. I start slow as my fingers do the rest, and while it’s a strange onslaught of sensation, it’s…
“Do you like that, malishka? Do you like using my gun to get off?”
His husky voice makes me sigh. “Yes…”
And there’s the undeniable truth. I’ve never felt more present in my body, never been more grounded than in this moment, right now.
Fear and pleasure consume me, erasing the misery and rage I carry wherever I go. In Alek’s darkness, I shine. I thrive.
I’m not so sure it’s hate I feel toward him. Fascination, yes. Fear? Unquestionably.
Alek understands me more than I understand myself. And while that prospect terrifies me more than the gun shoved up my pussy, I also crave it. I’ve been waiting for him without realizing it.
I’ve been using sex this entire time to mask the depression and the pain of existing on this fucked up planet. But I was never truly satisfied. Not the way I am right now.
I pick up the pace, thrusting forward with more force as my fingers work deeper. Alek’s gaze keeps me entranced, and I think my new addiction is getting lost in his eyes.
“Are you ready to come?” he asks, his low voice cutting through my quickening breath.
“Yes, oh God, yes.”
I keep repeating this like a mantra, my words growing more feverish by the second.
“That’s right. Come for me, malishka. Let me see you fall apart so I can put you back together again.”
And that’s when it hits me: the most powerful orgasm I’ve ever experienced in my life.
Gasping screams erupt from my throat, filling the car and echoing in my ears. My vision is blinded with white, dancing stars as my body convulses violently. I thrash back and forth with no regard for the danger I’m in because I hand my body and mind over to Alek and to the darkness we share. I allow myself to descend into it, where pleasure and terror coexist as one.
The climax hits me wave after wave until I can’t withstand the ecstasy any longer. I’m soaring far beyond the earth, and if this is heaven, I would die right now to stay.
My body slumps against the seat, my eyes closed as I float down like a feather to the ground. I’m barely aware of the gun sliding out from between my legs, but when Alek leans forward to kiss me, I find myself again.
His lips are gentle, letting me know he’s here whenever I’m ready to wake up to reality. And when I do, I peer at him through the curtain of my eyelashes with a serene smile.
