Page 76 of Love to Fear You


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“Come on my fingers, malishka. I know you want to.”

It’s all too much—too much sensation and overwhelming pleasure. A bright light sears my vision as I scream his name, and his mouth descends onto mine to swallow the noise. His tongue darts inside, asserting his power over me as both tormentor and lover.

I’m consumed by him, by his taste and his smell. The way he fills me feels like he’s crawling into my body, taking me over from the inside out, and I’m helpless and unwilling to stop it.

I want him to devour me whole until I’m a part of him. Until we’re one and the same, bound in darkness inextricably forever.

When he withdraws his fingers, I slump against his chest. He catches me in his arms, holding me upright as I feel stretched and spent.

“When others are around,” he whispers into my hair, “we are friends. Close friends. But remember, you are always mine, even if I can only have your body in the shadows.”

I sigh, slowly regaining my bearings. “I… I need to clean myself up.”

“No. I want you dripping between your legs for the rest of the day.”

Alek brings his middle and index finger to his mouth, sucking off my juices before releasing them with a pop.

He presses a kiss into my hair, and then he stalks off down the hallway, leaving me breathless and grinning.

I can’t explain why, but I like the way he asserts his dominance over me. These small humiliations, like not wearing underwear in his presence or walking around dripping wet for him, send strange thrills through my body. I’m not supposed to like it, but I do.

And the danger of being caught makes it all the more exciting.

Prisha is the first to our lunch table, and when she sees me approach with my food tray, her eyes twinkle with excitement behind her thick glasses. Other students throw curious glances at me as I walk between their tables, but they’re quick to look away.

“Well?” Prisha asks. “Tell me everything!”

“Geez, let me set my tray down first.”

She keeps her expectant gaze on me as I drop my bookbag to the floor and settle into my seat.

“So?” she whispers. “Are you and Prince Alek dating?”

I open my mouth to answer but pause. I promised to fill her in on what happened between Alek and me, but I can’t tell her anything without breaking my promise to Alek. Our relationship is supposed to be a secret.

And while I trust Prisha to keep my secrets, it isn’t fair to Alek.

“Um, we… talked.”

Prisha blinks. “And?”

“And that’s it. He drove me home and was really nice to me after what happened.”

I hate lying to her, and it gives me an unpleasant feeling in my gut.

Prisha’s face falls, twisting into confusion. “But you said there was lots to talk about. And the winky face emoji—”

“I don’t know,” I interrupt. “I think I read into things with him, but we’re not a couple or anything.”

Her lips set into a thin line. I can’t meet her eye with the suspicious glare she’s boring into my skull.

“You’re hiding some… thing…”

She trails off as she stares at something over my shoulder. Her jaw is hanging open, and I’m about to ask her what her deal is until…

“Is this seat taken?”

Alek’s voice behind me sends a chill down my spine. Slowly, I crane my neck to find Alek looming over me, lunch tray in hand.

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