Page 86 of Love to Fear You


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“Arms up,” Mikhail tells her.

She complies, slowly raising her shaking arms so Chad can peel the dress over her head, and he tosses it to the side. He can’t take his eyes off her body, though he’s at a loss for what to do next.

“Do you need Mikhail to spoon-feed you?” I ask. “You act like you’ve never touched a woman before.”

“He’s going to blow his load too fast,” Alek murmurs against my ear. “I think we should deny him pleasure for a while.”

I smile. “Good idea. Chad, why don’t you stick your fingers in her? Get her loosened up.”

Avoiding eye contact with her, he reaches a shaky hand down. He slips a finger into the front of her underwear, which disappears beneath the lace. Johanna tenses up, squeezing her eyes shut as he works his way inside her.

She sniffs the air, her face twisting in revulsion at the smell of urine.

“Come on, Johanna,” I say. “Try to enjoy it.”

Tears are forming in her eyes. “This is humiliating.”

“That’s the point.”

Alek bows his head into my neck, drawing a line along the length with his tongue. When he clamps down with his teeth, it sends a shudder through my body.

“Chad,” I say, “that’s good enough. Lay her back on the floor and take her panties off.”

Alek’s friends let out low whistles as Chad withdraws his hand, and there’s a thin layer of her essence on his fingertip.

“Clean those off,” I say. “Tell everyone how she tastes.”

He pops a finger into his mouth and licks it clean. “It’s okay, I guess.”

Everyone laughs, which makes his face go red. Johanna hugs her arms across her chest to make herself as inconspicuous as possible, and a tear slips down her cheek.

A flash of guilt hits me. She and I have been locked in an endless merry-go-round of rivalry neither of us knows how to escape. Each showdown we have requires us to one-up the other, but have I gone too far this time?

The boundaries of morality were blurred long before tonight, and I’m not sure what’s right or wrong anymore. This world is swathed in a smooth gradient of gray, each shade indistinguishable from the one beside it.

But looking at her now, embroiled in humiliation, I recognize myself. I remember how she made me feel the same way, and it bolsters my resolve to see this through.

This vicious cycle ends tonight, and I will come out the other side untouchable from now on.

“Take off her lingerie,” I say. “And then go down on her.”

One of Alek’s hands trails down to the hem of my dress, slipping underneath to run along my inner thigh. “Look at you taking charge,” he growls in my ear. “So ruthless. I can’t get enough.”

His finger traces over my lace underwear, pausing when he finds easy access to my slit.

“What is this?”

I grin. “Crotchless panties. So you don’t have to destroy these.”

He groans in my ear and presses his hardness into my backside. “I don’t want to wait anymore, malishka. I want you. Now.”

“I’m yours for the taking.”

Alek scoops me into his arms, which makes me squeal in delight as he carries me to the bed. He throws me down to the mattress on my back, my legs hanging over the edge. My heels slide off my feet to the floor.

Standing over me, between my knees, Alek rips off his dark tie before shrugging off his suit jacket.

As he rolls up the sleeves of his black buttoned shirt, his eyes devour me with a smoldering look that sets my body on fire.

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