Page 9 of Love to Fear You


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Ivan rolls the window down and shows a thick piece of paper to the guard. While he studies it, the other guards swarm the car, opening the doors and trunk to check inside with flashlights. I try not to make eye contact as they sweep the vehicle.

Finally, they nod us ahead, and the gate creaks open, allowing us to pass.

Soon, the trees part to reveal a magnificent structure, and lights shine through the dozens upon dozens of windows lining the brick façade. A large pond with a fountain sits in the middle of the lawn, reflecting the golden light in its pools. It reminds me of the Palace of Versailles or Kensington Palace, fit for royalty and grand balls.

The car slows behind a line of cars waiting to drop off their passengers at the front entrance, where people dressed in fine gowns and tuxedos make their way inside.

It takes a minute or so for Ivan to reach the front of the line. A butler appears to open the doors for us, and my father and I step out onto the driveway.

“Thanks, Ivan,” my dad calls. “Pick us up around ten, will you?”

“Yes, sir. Have a good night.”

My father offers his arm to escort me. Instead, I hike up my skirt so I don’t trip and head straight for the entrance, making him trail behind me.

My dress is a navy blue gown made of silk. To avoid a shopping trip with Galina, I chose to wear my Homecoming dress from sophomore year, though I’m starting to regret the thin fabric. A faux fur wrap covers my shoulders to keep me warm, but I’m anxious to seek refuge from the chilly evening.

When I step into the foyer, I catch the matte shimmer of my dress in a gilded mirror hanging on the wall. My nipples are pebbling against the thin silk, so I clutch my fur over my chest to hide them.

Over a hundred dignitaries mill around the first floor. Most are without dates, although a few have women on their arms. The majority of them are over the age of forty, making me feel out of place.

I’ve never attended an event like this. The fanciest party I’ve been to was the Homecoming dance in the school gymnasium.

I never made it to my junior prom. That was around the time Mom got sick.

The ballgowns and tinkling of champagne glasses are yet another reminder of how far away I am from home.

Unexpected tears spring to my eyes, and I glance at the floor to hide my face.

Deep breath, Willow. Plaster that fake-ass smile on your pretty face.

A waiter in a white coat passes by with a tray of champagne. I pluck one of the glasses off as he walks by, but before I can taste it, it’s gone.

“You’re not twenty-one,” my dad reminds me. He takes a sip from the stolen glass.

I scoff. “The drinking age is lower here. I checked.”

“You’re right,” he says. “It’s eighteen, and last I checked, you’re still seventeen for a few more months.”

I glare daggers at him, injecting as much spite as I can into my face. He decides now he wants to be a parent? Fuck him.

Turning my back, I move to make my way further into the crowd, but he grabs my arm.

“First, we need to greet the president,” he says. “It’s customary.”

I round back on him. “Do I look like I give a fuck about what’s ‘customary?’”

My dad flinches as though my curse word was a knife, and he glances around at the people staring at us.

“Willow, please behave,” he whispers. “This is an important work function, and you are representing the United States tonight. Ambassadors from around the world are here.”

“I’ll behave if I can have some champagne.” I fold my arms in defiance.

He releases my arm to pinch the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes. “Fine. But only one glass.”

“Two.”

He sighs. “Okay, two. But that’s it—I mean it.”

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