Page 91 of Love to Fear You


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“Everything and more.” He gives me a grin before tearing a vicious bite from his pancake.

“You’re eighteen now, but I’m still seventeen, so technically speaking, you’re a pervert.”

When he throws his head back, he lets out a genuine laugh that fills the room, his face lit up in humor. I take a snapshot of him for my memories. I don’t want to forget the way he laughs when the two of us are alone. When he can be himself.

“I guess it’s time you start calling me daddy.”

Now it’s my turn to laugh. I pick up a berry from my plate and chuck it at his face, which he catches with ease.

“Not gonna happen,” I say. “Besides, I’m only two months younger than you.”

Alek pops the berry into his mouth, giving me a wide grin as he settles back against the pillows. “I might not be your daddy, but you’re my little malishka.”

“Your baby girl.”

“Look at you learning Russian. It’s about time.”

I roll my eyes at him and shovel more food into my mouth—all this fucking has made me hungry. However, when he reaches over to pick up another pancake, I catch sight of his forearm. Grabbing his wrist, I stop him before he can touch his food.

“What is this?” My fingers brush along the circular scars beneath the crook of his elbow.

I’ve never noticed them before, but this is the first time I’ve seen Alek with his shirt off.

“Don’t worry about it.” He draws away, but I refuse to release him. Instead, I grab his other arm and turn it over, revealing similar scars in the same place.

“Willow, eat your breakfast.”

“No. Not until you tell me what these are from.”

Alek pins me with a serious look, but I meet him head-on, refusing to back down. After a few moments, I start to wonder if he’s giving me the silent treatment until he sighs.

His eyes hold a faraway look as he glances down at his marred skin, and a weary expression crosses his face. “My father has an unconventional method of discipline.”

“Your father did this to you? How? Why?”

“With his cigars. To this day, I can’t stand the stench of cigar smoke.” Alek glances up, meeting my gaze once again with a sad smile. “Does the sight disgust you?”

I recoil. “What? Of course not. I’m just… upset a parent would do this to their child.”

It makes my father look like a saint.

“What about your little sister?” I ask. “Does he…?”

He shakes his head. “No. She will be married off to a Russian oligarch one day, so her skin must remain flawless.”

“How does she feel about that?”

“She knows her duty. As do I.” He slides his wrists from my grip to hold my hands. “But my duty is also to you. To love you and to keep you safe from our enemies.”

I understand now why he’s afraid of his father. The way he abused Alek has affected him in a deep way, and perhaps it explains his dark nature and need for control.

To make others feel the same fear his father instilled in him.

“Hey, Alek?”

“Yes, my love?”

I love the way he calls me that, and I glow beneath his affections. “About the video from last night… can we hold off on posting it?”

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