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I capped the can and placed it back on the door of the refrigerator. “Okay, guy, say night to Kennedy. Time for bed.”
She lifted him up, hugging him tight with her eyes closed, whispering, “Sleep tight, babes.”
Finn and I completed the nightly routine: brushing teeth, filling up a water bottle, reading a story, and tucking him in before I lay next to him for a few minutes, staring at the light-up stars on the ceiling.
“What do you think of Kennedy?” I asked. “Do you love her?”
“Uv her,” he said.
“Yeah. I thought so.” I sighed and scrubbed my hand over my face and hair. “It’s an uphill battle.” I rolled over to power on his sound machine and his music then kissed his forehead. “I love you. Sleep well. I’ll see you in the morning.”
I gave him one last squeeze and stood, quietly andquicklymaking a getaway. I shut his door right as Kennedy reached the top of the steps. “You going to bed already?” It wasn’t like we ever hung out or anything. Or that I would suggest it either. But… “It’s only eight.”
“Yeah, I thought I’d go over my audition piece a few times. Don’t worry, though. I’ll use my headphones. You won’t hear a thing.”
I met her by her door, keeping my voice down as I said, “I don’t care. Do what you need to.” I could tell she was nervous by how she plucked at her shirt, so I gave her shoulder an encouraging squeeze. “You’re going to do amazing tomorrow.”
“I hope so. When I think about it, I feel like puking. You got any tips, Professor?”
“Picture them naked,” I offered with a shrug.
She bent her head, biting back a smile. “I don’t know if I want to picture them naked.”
“No,” I agreed, but I didn’t think it was funny. Not when I was standing so close to Kennedy I could feel her body heat. “Naked is bad. Very bad.”
“Yeah.” She lifted her head, her gaze slow to meet mine, and her throat worked on a swallow. A few pieces of hair had fallen out of her bun, and she curled them behind her ear, her fingers lingering at her neck. “That’s…not what I want to picture.”
“You should picture someone you want to perform for,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper.
She let her hand fall, her knuckles brushing mine. “Good idea.”
We stood there like that, breathing each other in, her head tipped up toward me, my attention split between her mouth, soft and inviting, and her eyes, almost black in the low light of the hall. “Show them who you are. There’s no way they won’t fall in love with you.”
She licked her lips, starting to speak, but a thump sounded behind Finn’s door, followed by clomping footsteps. It opened, and he poked his head out. “Addy!”
I blinked away from Kennedy, the moment evaporated, and brushed past her. “Yeah, buddy. I’m coming.”
It was for the best anyway.
Somebody named Jordan was already calling her baby.
NINE
KENNEDY
After the firstHairsprayauditions Thursday night, I’d been called back, and while I hoped I had a good chance, I was up against an undergrad in musical theatre. I’d spent the better part of the last two days a ball of nerves. Finn even seemed to understand how wound up I was because he was at a level five when he normally ran at a fifteen.
Last night, Liam had put Finn to bed then sat in the living room to be my audience while I’d rehearsed my song over and over again. Though, his feedback wasn’t all that useful, because each time I’d finished “I Can Hear the Bells,” he’d smile and say, “That was better than the last time,” or “You sound so good.”
This morning, I’d been too nervous to eat breakfast and had arrived to the callbacks hopped up on two cups of coffee, but I thought it had added to my performance as the “pleasantly plump” and bighearted Tracy Turnblad, the star of the show. Now, I was back at Liam’s, tucked up in my room, trying to keep my mind off the audition by talking to my sister and mom.
Every Sunday, Liam and Finn FaceTimed with Tessa. She was living in Antarctica, doing research for some big-time academic study, and I stayed away, not wanting to intrude on their time together. I’d briefly “met” her last week, and she’d seemed perfectly nice, with porcelain skin, shoulder-length chestnut hair, brown eyes, and freckles, like some well-aged star of a teen drama who was now retired and living on the coast. No wonder Liam had made a baby with her.
Two beautiful, nerdy people and their beautiful, nerdy little kid.
And I wasn’t jealous at all.
Liam was the hot daddy professor I was nannying for, and she was the mother of his child. In the hierarchy of this family, I was in last place. Or, really, not listed at all. Which was why I hid myself away whenever they had their scheduled call. Because I didn’t want to be reminded of what was real—they were a family, and I was merely on the outside.
