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I’d wanted to think myself better than that douche canoe Duncan, but I hadn’t. Not at all.
“Look, I had access to Chris Conroy, the producer, without the senator. That’s why I was at the party in the first place. Hell, I had no idea Senator Bergstrom would even be there. Sure, I needed that bullshit tabloid mess cleaned up, yeah. But my agent was going to hire someone to be my girlfriend and that would’ve taken care of it.”
I took a deep breath, pushed on.
“I wanted to be with Aspen. Needed to be with her. I couldn’t walk away from her, so I brought her to LA with me. If she wanted to name what we had as fake, I’d call it that even though it was… no, is real for me. I hoped to make her see that, too.”
He cocked his head to the side. “Why do you think she’s so upset?”
“Because I fucked up and thinks I’m just like every other person who’s used her for her mother.”
He shook his head. “No, like every other person who was supposed to care for her and used love as a tool for their own gain.”
I swallowed hard. “Fuck.” I ran a hand over my face. He was right.
“You’ve only known each other for a short time. Days. I can see how you won’t know everything about the woman.”
“She didn’t tell me she danced. I saw her one morning on my deck and it was incredible, but I can see now why she keeps her past on lockdown. The only thing she told me about her parents was that they were estranged and that her mother was powerful.”
“You have to see why she’s so wary, so jaded. When she found out the whole thing was planned, you were just like the others.”
“It wasn’t planned! Especially my instant reaction to her. But I never, not once, used her for access to her mother. I didn’t even know who she was. I want to kill Mark for making this all fucked up, but I guess I owe him a favor because I never would have met her otherwise.”
“I think Aspen would rather kill him. And you.”
“Don’t say shit about a woodchipper,” I muttered.
“She’s upset because she’s in love with you, too.”
My eyes widened and hope filled the spot in my chest where my heart was ripped out. “She said that?”
“Didn’t have to. You hurt her and I have a feeling she doesn’t let herself get hurt very often anymore. That means she let you in, she trusted you and you let her down.”
I groaned. “Fuck, this is a nightmare.”
“Did you tell her you loved her?”
I thought of the time I told her I’d fallen for her, but she’d been asleep. I’d said the words, but she didn’t know. I shook my head.
“She’s in love with Luke,” Theo added. “Not Derek Dashwood or Shep whatever on the show.”
“I never lied to her. Not once. And when she asked me if meeting her in the bar had been planned, I told her the truth, even though it’s not what she thinks.”
“You didn’t tell her about the FBI guy. That’s lying by omission.”
I looked up at the ceiling. Groaned again. “Fine, but not about who I was. Never. She didn’t even know I was a TV star when we met.”
“But you used her like you were Derek Dashwood. For your career. Be Luke. Only Luke. That’s the man she wants.”
“No one cares about Luke,” I admitted. “No one even knows Luke.” I flung up my arms. “Everyone is crazy for Derek. For Shep Barnes. Luke isn’t anything special.” I swallowed thickly, my mouth so fucking dry. “What if she doesn’t like him? What if he’s… what if I’m not enough?”
“You’ll never find out until you strip all those roles, all those characters you play, ditch all the people who want something from you and just be yourself. You said it, she didn’t know you were famous. She wants you. Until then, steer fucking clear of Aspen, or I will get that woodchipper.”
He went to the exam room door, opened it and left. “Verna, what’s the charge code for gonorrhea? I need to add it to this patient’s chart.”
47
LUKE
