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“If being stood up had a taste, it would be like rotting fish.”
She sighed. “I’m sorry it didn’t work out.”
“It did actually.” I couldn’t help but smile. The same goofy one I had all morning. “I ended up having four orgasms and I think I’m walking a little funny this morning.”
I was definitely walking funny.
“You need to lay off that dildo,” she cautioned. “You’ll get a UTI from all the wear and tear.”
I laughed. “These orgasms were man-made. As in I didn’t have any part of it. I just bent over and he gave them to me all by himself.”
“Bent over? Is that a yoga thing?”
“Bent over as in ah-mazing.” Like kinky-dirty and bold and wild. There was no timid, first-time thing going on with Luke. No. He’d had PLANS.
“Holy shit. Who is this superhero?”
I grinned. “His name is Luke. I met him at the bar when Ronald was a no-show.”
“And?”
“And he’s really good at trivia, has the best oral skills in the state, and has a baby arm for a dick.” My pussy clenched in glee remembering. “Plus, he’s nice.”
“Nice and has a huge dick? Marry him.”
I sighed. “I doubt my very satisfied vagina and I will see him again.”
“What? Why?”
“Because he’s not from here. He had a room at the hotel. He’s probably already checked out.” I didn’t tell her I snuck out. She’d kill me.
“That sucks.”
Yeah, it totally did.
But gorgeous Luke probably wouldn’t like the real me. I didn’t usually wear clothes like the dress I had on the night before. That had been in my closet with the tags on it since I found it at a clearance sale last fall. My pretty pink lingerie set–the thong from which he kept–didn’t work with my yoga wear.
I was a mom. A yogini. I didn’t do sundresses and sex. I did athleisure-wear twenty-four/seven. Meditation and juice cleanses. I didn’t do baseball and wings.
But I got what I’d set out to do when I left my house the night before. A romp with orgasms.
“Totally sucks,” I told Mal. “Especially since I think he ruined me for all other men.”
“He was that good?” she asked, awe filling her voice.
I thought of the things we did before I snuck out. Ridiculously dirty. Unbelievably hot.
“Mal, I didn’t even know sex could be like that.”
We hung up and I gathered my things. I’d collect Sierra from the sleepover and then take her to the hockey store, as promised, before getting her packed for camp.
The bell on the door chimed again, followed by feet taking the steps two at a time.
A delivery man appeared holding an overnight envelope. He looked my way, then to the label. “Aspen Lane?”
“Yes.”
He held it out and I took it. He gave me a smile and a little wave, then tromped down the steps and left.
