Page 15 of The Risk of Falling


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Taking a deep breath, I unlock the door and open it up wide. He’s gone. Confused, I step out into the breezeway of my building, looking right then left. I see Parker’s retreating figure and call out to him, “Parker!” Swallowing my nerves and unsure why I’m stopping him, I continue, “Did you need something?”

Parker stops, pausing a few seconds before he turns around. When he faces me, he stands still for a moment, and there’s silence between us. Then he begins briskly walking toward me. The look in his eyes causes a chill to run over my skin. Do I run to him or away from him? My mind is at war, partly because I can’t decipher what I’m feeling right now, let alone what he’s feeling. And partly because my body wants Parker every single time I’m near him. Instead of moving, I remain frozen, just watching him. This feels like a complete contradiction of what we decided about how we would handle whatever is happening between us.

Before I can even form a word, he’s standing directly in front of me. I can smell the faint scent of beer. Our eyes lock, and I have a better view of his emotions now that we’re so close. A little bit of fear mixed with desire. I guess I should thank God that Parker and I are on the same playing field. Although, that would mean admitting things I’d rather ignore. Finally, he croaks out, “Can we talk? I really think we need to talk.”

Shaking my head, I say, “God, Parker, it’s late. We can’t keep having this conversation. If this is about our attraction…I’m not sure it’s a good idea.”

“It is.” His rebuttal is quick.

Parker takes hold of my hand and pulls me into my apartment, closing the door behind us. We barely make it five steps into the living room before he faces me, dropping my hand. He shoves his fingers through his hair. My eyes shift around the room, looking anywhere but at him. He lets out a long sigh then blurts out, “Look, Abbey, I’m out of my mind crazy thinking about you. What does that means exactly? I’m not sure yet. But I can say you’ve made quite an impression.” He reaches up, cupping my cheek, and brings my attention up to his face. “Tell me you don’t feel the same way, and I will walk out of this door right now. Or if you’re drawn to me even a fraction of what I am to you, let me know. Then we can decide where we go from here. I need to know I’m not the only one with these feelings. Tell me it isn’t just me.”

“It’s not just you,” I quickly confess, leaning into the palm of Parker’s hand pressed against my cheek, closing my eyes. He takes a step forward, and I feel him leaning in, so I open my eyes, placing my hand on his chest, stopping him. “I feel it, too, but I can’t. You know we can’t. Your guard is down. You wouldn’t be here if you hadn’t been drinking,” I tell him with emphasis.

“That’s not true, and you know it,” he says. “I’m here because I can’t stop thinking about you. I’m here because I don’t think you can stop thinking about me, either.”

Parker takes another step closer. We’re nose to nose, and I don’t step away from him. I simply close my eyes. There’s a whisper of his hot breath just before his soft lips press against mine. For a split second, I think about pulling back, but I can’t. I need this…I want this, even if it makes me feel more than I’ve ever felt. Even if it tears down the walls I’ve worked so hard to build. I kiss him back with everything in me.

My lips tingle with pleasure as I deepen our kiss. Parker’s arms wrap around me, pulling me against his body. This kiss is like fuel to a fire that has been slowly burning between us since the moment I called out to him and he turned around, meeting my gaze. His words slip between our lips, “Where’s your bedroom?” My lips don’t leave his. “Not my bed,” I manage to get out. “The couch.”

He pulls back for a minute, looking at me, then resigns himself to my decision.

Parker lifts the bottom of my tank top, slowly sliding it up and over my head. He asks permission with his eyes before his hands cup my breast. He squeezes gently then leans forward, placing his mouth over my nipple. A rush of air slips from my mouth, I push my fingers into his wavy hair and tug gently until he raises his head to meet mine, and our lips meet once more. His lips are warm and move over mine in rushed movements as if they can’t get enough of being connected with mine.

My hands pull his t-shirt up his hard chest, and we break apart only long enough to allow him to lift his arms above his head and pull his shirt off. He reaches behind me, and my bra falls to the floor. We move apart and look at one another, half-naked and panting with desire.

“Are you sure about this, Abbey?” Parker asks me. I can see it was hard for him to ask, and if I say no, I know he would walk away without a fight.

I know this goes against all my rules, but right now, with him, I don’t care. I want him. Without a word, I simply slide my pajama bottoms and panties down over my hips, allowing them to fall to the floor. Slowly, I step out of them, moving forward until I’m standing just close enough that our bodies are touching. His eyes tell me everything I need to know. Parker wants me as much as I want him.

I reach for his hands, pulling his arms around me, allowing them to settle on my back. I put my arms around Parker and look up into his eyes again.

This was all the confirmation he needed, and as he pulls me tighter against him, I moan at the feel of our bodies pressed together, skin on skin. His head dips down, and his lips overtake mine—at first gentle, coaxing, then harder until our mouths are devouring one another. Our movements become more frantic, like we can’t quite get where we want to go fast enough. My hands find each piece of his clothing and work to remove it as quickly as possible. Parker never stops his assault on my body. His mouth covers my nipple, and he begins to suck, pulling it between his teeth as his jeans drop to the floor. The sensation causes me to arch my back, pushing my breast forward. The feeling is overwhelming all my senses.

Parker’s name is a moan between my lips.

His mouth returns to mine, silencing the sounds of pleasure coming from me. Lifting me up into his arms, he carries me to the deep, overstuffed sectional. He pulls back and briefly looks at me, sets me down and covers my body with his own. Suddenly, his lips are back on mine.

Looking up at him, for one moment, the fear of what we are doing seeps its way in. Then a small smile widens across his face. I want him right now, and that outweighs any consequence I’ll have to deal with later.

The skin-to-skin contact feels incredible, and the aching between my legs intensifies. Before I even know it, Parker pushes his long, hard length inside me. Filling me and relieving one ache while creating a different kind of need. I don’t even know when he had a chance to put on protection, but I am thankful his thoughts were coherent enough to remember it.

“My God, Abbey, you feel so damn good.” His words are low and strained in my ear. We are both unmoving, trying to adjust to the incredible feeling building from the connection of our bodies.

I don’t say anything; instead, I respond by moving my hips beneath him. He reacts by matching his movements to mine. At first, tender and slow, then harder, pushing himself deeper and deeper inside me with every thrust. The sensation is overwhelming and fulfilling all at the same time. I want more. I want him to move faster and deeper, feeling like he will never be close enough. Then as soon as the sensation of our movements causes me to feel like I might shatter into a million pieces, I practically beg him to go slower.

My body explodes with a warmth that fills every part of me. The feeling comes in waves. Parker’s name slips past my lips in a long, drawn-out moan. Only seconds later, Parker is calling my name, his entire body becoming tout against mine before falling to the side of me, his body halfway on me and halfway on the couch. We’re tangled together—our labored breathing the only sound filling the room. He pulls me into his body until my head is cradled between his chin and chest. An unfamiliar rush of emotions comes over me. Feelings that scare me, so I push them off. I try not to think of what any of this could or will mean. Instead, I choose to stay in the moment, deciding to take control of my thoughts and dictate the meaning. This is like any other night where I wanted pleasure. It just so happens that this is someone I already shared a night with in the past. Except this night felt different. Mentally, I scold myself for overthinking and shut out all thoughts other than the fact that a handsome and sexy man just gave me the greatest pleasure I’ve felt…since, well…since the last time I was with him.

I stretch out, feeling fantastic. I savor the moment, closing my eyes.

“You look even prettier in the afterglow of sex than I remember. I think it’s because your defenses are down.” A masculine voice breaks through my happy thoughts, and dread enters immediately. I don’t move. I don’t respond, and I most definitely don’t open my eyes because his words were like a bucket of water to a flame. He is right, my defenses are down. “You can keep your eyes closed if you want, but that doesn’t change the fact that I’m here.” His tone tells me he finds all of this very funny. This annoys me because he is so relaxed, and I’m not sure how I feel about the fact that we ended up sleeping together again. Calm down, Abbey, and think.

The truth is, I made a choice, one I don’t regret because I wanted Parker. And much to my surprise, I still want him. The problem is that this physical need for one another isn’t right for our circumstances because, as soon as it goes wrong—and it will—the consequences will be like a domino effect. It’s going to knock me, Parker, Rosie, and Drew down one after another, and no doubt the rest of the dominoes will fall in suit. We do this and it doesn’t work out then it leads to the possibility of a negative situation between Rosie and Drew. Her best friend and his brother. The little angel of optimism in my head whispers,“Who says it will end…let alone end badly?”“Because it just will. This isn’t real,” I say to that optimistic little voice, and apparently, I also say it out loud. “What?” Parker asks.

My eyes fly open to find a confused look on his face, which is less than a foot away. “What?” I respond, not knowing what to say. Good Lord, I’m a fool. “I asked you what you were saying,” he tells me, his brows pinching together. “It was nothing,” I say quickly and turn on my back, staring up at the ceiling. I feel the couch dip a little, and when I peer at him, I can see he is lying on his side now, too. His strong, muscular arms bent with his hands under his head. He looks so damn sexy. It’s really no wonder I’m in this predicament with him again.

I hear Parker sigh. “Look, Abbey, I can hear the wheels turning in your head. You’re trying to figure out what this means and if it’s really a good idea. Something we have both wondered probably a billion times since we found out my brother and your best friend are in love.” Parker props his head up on one hand. Again, his bicep is flexing. Taunting me. My mind snaps back to his words instead of his physique as he continues. “I’ve been trying to figure out the same thing. I keep coming back to one thought—there is something about you. Sure, we need to figure out the details, but maybe…,” he trails off, then says, “maybe, it would work out. Can we guarantee forever? No, we can’t. But maybe we don’t have to figure everything out. Neither of us can deny we have chemistry.” He gives me a hard stare, and I try to think of what to say. We definitely have chemistry.

I let his words sink in. My stomach starts to turn, and I feel uneasy. Anxious. I can’t do this. “I’m sorry. I don’t know if I can take the chance just because we have chemistry. This could hurt a lot of people,” I retort.

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