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Her body relaxes some, and I know I’ve got her right where I want her, but as my lips tingle with want, my eyes glance up to get a better view of her face. My stomach flips, and suddenly, I don’t feel as in control of this situation as I led myself to believe. A passion overtakes me, something I’mnotprepared for, and I consider pulling away. Then her eyes open, and I see the same fear and desire in her eyes. This is the moment she decides to give in to that passion despite the fear, and I do the same.
I dip my lips toward hers, lightly then a little more franticly. My hands sweep into her hair, tugging gently until our bodies are flush against one another. My desire is obvious. I feel myself falling deeper into her. Then suddenly, Abbey pushes at my chest, and I stumble back. “What are we doing?” The words rush out of her. We’re both panting, lost in our world of passion but jolted back to reality. Laughter and music drift up the stairs from the party below. “I don’t know.” It’s true. I don’t know.
“You don’t know? That’s all you can think to say?” She shakes her head. “Do you do relationships?” Abbey doesn’t give me a chance to respond before she continues. “Well, I don’t, Parker. This kind of thing never ends well. This will not end well. You know?” She sounds resolute.
My head falls back, letting out a long-drawn-out sigh.
Lifting my head, I look back into her eyes. “It’s hard to explain, Abbey. I just know I haven’t been able to stop thinking of you. I’m not sure I can.”
Shock clouds her face. She watches me for a moment before responding resolutely, “We agreed.” She waves her hand between us and repeats, “Damn it, Parker. We agreed. This can’t happen again because we don’t want to make a mess of things. And we would definitely make a mess of things. You and I can’t be selfish about this because that would be disastrous for everyone.”
The reluctance in her voice is apparent. She is not only trying to convince me, but also herself. I tell her what I think she wants to hear. “You’re right. We can’t take a chance on a fling when my brother and Rosie are so closely involved.”
I do what any man caught in a tangled web of lust with his future sister-in-law’s best friend would do. I turn on my heel and leave her standing in the dark hallway staring after me.
Without any great effort, I successfully spend the rest of the night out of sight.
• • •
The house is finally quiet except for the noise coming from the kitchen where my parents are cleaning up. I listen as my dad teases my mom, and she laughs like a young girl in love.It has always been that way between them. Tender. Loving. They have a natural, sincere affection for one another.
Their relationship is my gold standard, yet it feels almost unattainable.
It feels like ananomaly. Unique. One of a kind. Hard to find. Except Drew and Rosie found it. So, what does that make my odds? Cut in half, no doubt. How many happily-ever-after’s are out there? I walk across the living room to the window overlooking the front yard and peek out. I see Drew with his arm wrapped protectively over Rosie’s shoulder as they are talking to Abbey and her…friend. Abbey throws her head back in a boisterous laugh as Rosie pulls away from Drew, giving him a playful slap on his shoulder. Now they’re all laughing. As I watch them, the others begin to fade away. It’s only Abbey I see. The moment her name echoes through my mind, her attention shifts to me, and her eyes lock onto mine. Her smile fades, which is a damn shame.
I don’t move as I stare back at her and notice that Sebastian guy she brought to the party has seen me too. Frankly, I don’t give a shit what he thinks as he casually glances between Abbey and me. Neither Drew nor Rosie seem to notice, but I don’t want to bring any more attention to us. So I lift my chin, giving Abbey one final nod of acknowledgment before moving away from the window.
Instead of walking back to the kitchen where my parents are, I allow myself a quiet moment, compartmentalizing the way Abbey stirs feelings in me best left ignored. My head falls forward, chin touching my chest, as I rub my temples, trying to clear my mind and take back control of the twisting emotions running through my head.
“Parker?”
Slowly, I lift my head to find my parents standing at the end of the hallway, concern on their faces. They are loosely holding hands, a picture of a moment interrupted and frozen in time but weathered by change. They’re both watching me, matched concern written across their faces. The way they read me makes me feel uncomfortable, so I break the silence. “Are you heading to bed?” I ask with a small smile.
I’m not one to normally take a moment alone like this. Not when we’re all together, anyway. Obviously they want to ask if I’m okay, but there’s an unspoken code in our family. We recognize when someone needs to work through things on their own, and we don’t pry. I know if I ever need anything, my parents and brothers would be there for me, but they won’t interject unless I ask.
My dad speaks up as he takes a step forward, leading my mother gently behind him. “We are. The kitchen is clean, so we’re going to call it a night. Mind locking up on your way out?” When he passes me, he places his hand on my shoulder, giving me a light squeeze before continuing. Mom leans in, places a kiss on my cheek, then whispers, “Love you, baby.”
I don’t even say a sarcastic comment like I usually would at her choice of words. I simply whisper back, “Love you, too, Mom. Goodnight.”
I watch my parents disappear up the stairway. Their love is real. Steadfast. I can’t help but wonder if I’m meant to have this same kind of love.
Six
ABBEY
“So, Abs, the guy…the brother,he’sthe reason Ihadto be your date?” Seb barks out as he drives us slowly through the neighborhood away from the Nallen’s home. I turn my attention to my friend and see a hint of a smile resting on his lips.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Seb. I just needed a date without any strings attached.” Looking over at him to show some confidence behind my words, I continue, “No one goes to an engagement party alone when you’re in the bridal party. It’s a known fact.” I turn my attention back to the passing landscape through the window.
“Fine, I won’t push, but there was an electrical storm brewing between you two. A girl doesn’t walk out of a dark hallway looking flushed the way you did unless she got caught too close to a fire.” He pauses. “I know I’ve put that look on a girl or two…or more, and it wasn’t nothing.”
“Fine. Parker does something to me. It’s a long story, but it can’t happen. It won’t happen because I lose my senses around him, and you know better than anyone, I don’t lose myself with anyone. Ever.” I reach over and turn the radio up, trying to end the conversation, especially because it’s a truth I don’t want to acknowledge to myself, let alone an ex-boyfriend-turned-friend.
We remain silent, and my mind drifts back to thoughts of my interaction with Parker in the hallway. The way his words made my body tingle. How merely being near him created a need in my very core. The way my body vibrated with desire when his lips brushed against mine. Seb is right—the electricity between Parker and me is like touching a live wire. It’s practically unbearable. It’s the reason I nearly lost myself in the hallway of his parents’ home tonight, just like I did the night we met. As we drive up in front of my apartment, Seb turns the radio down, pulling me from my thoughts.
“You coming up?” I ask, more out of habit than real desire. Seb has been my one constant, an unattached physical yet friendly companion. Basically, my one-time friend with benefits when I want. It’s a foundation we established years ago.
Reaching over and resting his hand on my leg, Seb shakes his head slightly. “Nah, I think I’m going to head home. Casually sleeping together is one thing, but when you really want someone else…well, that shit is not something I won’t to be a part of.”
