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“Not yet,” Sylvie replies. “Why? Will your big brother not go with you?”
“He doesn’t do fairground rides. Come on, we can go together,” Daniel says.
No! No! No!
I did not come out on a Friday evening only to have to spend it in uncomfortable silence with a man who, when talking to me at least, cannot string two words together.
Of course, I do not voice any of that. In fact, I’ve yet to even look in their direction. While I’ve been listening to every word, I’ve pretended my attention has been taken by all that is going on around me. But it’s too late. When I do slowly turn, acting as though I’m mildly curious as to what is going on, Sylvie and Daniel have hurried off ahead, leaving me with the caveman.
Great!
“I suppose we should follow,” I hear him say.
I’m nearly certain it’s the longest sentence I’ve heard him speak yet, to me anyway. Yep. The longest before this was him telling me, with little enthusiasm I might add, how nice it was to meet me on the day I nearly knocked him across the kitchen with the door. While it may well be the longest sentence he’s spoken, I remind myself that it’s out of necessity only. He’s speaking to me because he hasto, and I need to keep that in the forefront of my mind. I’m not going to make a fool of myself again.
“Sure,” I reply in a tone that tells him I’m indifferent at best.
And yet, if he were to hear the rapid thumping of my heart against my ribcage, I am certain the man would be completely confused. While my brain is telling me to ignore the caveman and give as good as he has given so far, my body is telling me the exact opposite. I can’t blame it. My fickleness is not my doing. I’m being heavily influenced by the soft, woodsy scent that’s wafting in my direction. It’s the same aroma I inhaled when I face-planted into Jackson’s chest in his father’s kitchen the other day. I sighed with delight then, and I’m struggling not to do the same now.
For all his rudeness, Jackson Scott has a definite tall, dark, handsome and moody vibe going on. I’ll be honest, he’s not the typical guy I would go for, not that there have been many. I married when I was young, and before that, I only dated a few guys. My ex-husband is outgoing, outspoken, and more than a little controlling. It appears that this is my type, given that Rob, the guy I left New York City to get away from, is exactly the same.
Of course, I should never have allowed myself to get involved with someone else so soon after the divorce. I was damaged goods after my ex-husband, David, had finished controlling my every move, and forced me to question my sanity. I should have listened to my sister. But hey, there’s nothing I can do about it now. I’ll quote one of her other favorite sayings.
It is what it is.
We’re moving through the crowd now, not that I can see much as I walk behind the great expanse that is Jackson’s back. He must work out. No one is born with that kind of muscular breadth, are they? Even beneath his t-shirt, I can see the muscles of his shoulders, and I can only imagine the rest of him is just as defined. Worse still, his scent is even stronger now as I walk in his wake.
Thanks a bunch, Sylvie.
When we finally come to a stop, Sylvie and Daniel are already queuing for the ride. It’s only in that moment, that I realize I wasn’t even consulted if I wanted to join them. But as I look over at the two of them, chattering excitedly, I can’t help but smile to myself, and am glad I wasn’t asked. Daniel is looking at Sylvie with an expression I know quite too well.
I did say he was a heartbreaker. As they stand together waiting to get on the ride, it’s obvious they make such a cute couple.
Good for you, Daniel.
The sense of discomfort returns once Daniel and Sylvie get on the ride. I’m barely a foot away from Jackson and neither of us have spoken a word. We’re supposed to be the older and more mature adults, and we’re acting like children. What the heck is wrong with us?
Just say something.
“I really like it here. It’s so different than the city.”
It’s a pathetic statement, but I have nothing else. I don’t know this man at all, and to be honest, I’m scared to death of trying to get to know him, in case he shuts me down like he did in the hardware store. I’ve suffered enough humiliation and manipulation in the last five years. There’s only so much a woman can take.
“It’s just like every other small community,” Jackson replies.
It’s not a curt response, but neither does he sound eager to converse. Still, it’s a start. Maybe we can have a conversation that involves more than a few syllables, if I can just keep this going.
“I wouldn’t know,” I say. “I’ve lived in New York City my entire life. I’ve only been here a couple of weeks, but I think I like the gentle silence that prevails the air here. It’s so much better than in the city.”
“Yes, well,” he growls. “I miss the city. I can’t wait to get back there.”
That response was curt and abrasive, and suddenly, I’ve had enough. I just cannot do this any longer. I came to this little town to build myself back to the strong-minded woman I once was. I’m here to work on being the best version of myself, not sacrifice my sanity again by throwing myself to the lions. My self-esteem has been devoured enough. I will not put myself in a position where it can happen again.
“Right,” I snap back. “Maybe the sooner you return, the better it will be for everyone.”
I then turn on my heels and storm away. I feel the tiniest bit bad for not saying goodbye to Sylvie as I battle through the crowd and make my way to the carpark, but I’m sure Daniel will happily entertain her for the rest of the evening. As for me, I need to get as far away from Jackson Scott as is physically possible.
