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“I wish. Closeted queens are the worst.”
Tate’s trick for the night stalked past me and I let out a sigh of relief when I heard the front door slam.
“You’re using again?” I bit out as I walked up to Tate. “Are you out of your fucking mind?”
“It’s under control! We were partying last night, just having fun. Then I needed another hit to wake up this morning. And why the fuck am I explaining myself to you in my own home? I didn’t ask you to come here!”
“But it’s a good thing I did, right? When are you going to stop doing this to yourself?” I shouted back.
“Doing what?”
“Living a lie. Denying your past. Denying who you are. And then using coke to deal with it.”
“I’m not lying or denying anything! You and Henn know the truth! I’m gay, and I fuck men. There! Is that what you want me to say? Are you happy now?”
I shook my head. “I have never, not once, pressured you about your sexuality. Don’t you dare try and act like your unhappiness is my fault!”
“Why not? If I was out when I attempted to kiss you last year, would you have been okay with it? Or would I have ended up just another one of your fuckboys?”
“What?”
“I’m not the only who likes to live in denial.”
I flinched at his words, and he caught it, his eyes narrowing.
No matter how long we’d been apart, I could never erase the image of those amber eyes of his. Even tired, even high, he was still the most intense man I’d ever met.
Why, why couldn’t I ever stay away?
“I’m not in denial about anything!” I snapped back.
“Not even your feelings for me?”
He knew he’d hit his mark, with that telltale smirk on his face.
“Fuck you, Tate! And fuck our friendship!” I screamed. “I can’t do this anymore. I can’t watch you slowly kill yourself. You want to ruin your life, go ahead. You want to live with your trauma forever, you want to hide who you really are, fine. But I’m out! Not that it will change much. You don’t want to talk to me anymore anyway.”
Tate’s face fell and he stepped forward, reaching for me.
It was too late. I pushed his hands away.
“You can never say goodbye, Tay. But I can.”
I turned and headed for the door.
“No, Ree! Wait!”
My heart was telling me to stop, but my feet kept moving.
I slammed the door behind me and waited.
Five seconds, ten, twenty.
A minute passed, then another. Henn walked up to me, but I couldn’t talk. I just stood there, shaking, tears sliding down my face, feeling like a fool.
Tate was lying again. He made no move to stop my leaving.
He just… let me go.
