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It was pathetic.
Our friendship had imploded, but I was still in love with Tate.
And I hated that I was in love with him.
It didn’t stop me from seeking out pleasure with other men. But it did leave me with a restlessness that was never satisfied.
I met, I fucked, and I was done.
I had a small circle of friends that I hung out with, most of whom were starting to pair up. Which made me happy for them, but sad for myself.
Since I was running on empty.
Maybe it was time to put this ridiculous warfare of ours to bed. Don’t even think about bed and Tate in the same sentence. To rest, to be accurate.
That was the plan.
Until I arrived in Bangkok, along with Dylan, who had also landed a role in the film. I was looking forward to having at least one friendly face to talk to.
But now, only three days into filming, it was turning into a disaster.
It started with a rewrite to the script.
Suddenly Tate and I had to kiss, and when he found out—or when I asked him if we could rehearse it before taping—all hell broke loose.
Tate freaked out and locked himself in his dressing room until Jared talked him down.
And he wasn’t the only one who was panicking. I just did a better job of hiding it.
It probably had to do with the fact that I’d had a drink beforehand to help my nerves. A mistake on my part.
Me, alcohol, and Tate was a dangerous mix.
It was one scene, mind you, but still, nothing in nine years of professional acting had prepared me for this. And I’d kissed a lot of men, mostly for pleasure but occasionally for work.
It was a short clip, probably only ten seconds of reel. But I was never so nervous in my life.
For the first time ever, I thought I might puke on set.
What a way to set up a kiss.
“Places everyone, quiet!”
I could do this.
It’s just a kiss. Nothing to it.
I walked up to Tate, determined to get this shot in one take. I didn’t want to be in his personal space any longer than was necessary. And once I was done, I was heading straight for that bottle of gin again.
“In three, two, one… action.”
Tate froze for a split second and I, as usual, took the first step.
The lips that I’d longed to taste more than any other were right there in front of me.
Without pause, I reached up and shoved my hands into his hair, cupping the back of his head.
Fuck, it was amazing to touch him. I hadn’t been this close to him since that red carpet event.
