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Sam got through the crowd and sped up slightly, rising up the pass. They stopped for a bathroom break at the top, then rolled down the pass through thick forest. After the Montana sapphire mine, they left the trees behind and entered a wide, grassy valley. Neither of them said much except for the occasional warning about furry critters. Driving the hazardous area was no time for a heart-to-heart and they didn’t know enough about the meeting tomorrow to plan anything. Plus, she wasn’t sure she wanted to have a deep discussion with Trevor yet.
At the highway intersection, she turned north and drove toward Drummond and I-90. “I know neither of us slept well. Why don’t you take a nap? It’s daylight, and the area is wide open, so I’ll see the deer and elk. You can drive the freeway.”
“If you don’t mind, I will.” Trevor smiled. “Thanks.”
“Go ahead, I’m fine.” That way, there wouldn’t be any tense silence.
Reaching into the backseat, he balled up a sweatshirt and reclined the seat. “Stop for gas in Drummond, and we’ll change then.” He shoved the shirt under his head and closed his eyes.
“Sure.” Sam scanned the sides of the highway for wildlife, but there were only cattle. She was grateful for good fences; stuck in the middle of one stampede was more than enough for a lifetime. But the open highway gave her too much time to think.
No matter how awful Trevor’s departure had been and how his unilateral decision had made her life more difficult, it probably had been for the best. Even if he hadn’t imploded, they’d been so young, so sheltered, so immature. They would have broken up at some point. Or she wouldn’t have gotten her degree. Or any number of things could have happened. Regrets were useless, and carrying anger only hurt her. She had to remember that, even when she was exhausted and heart-sick.
Actually, her anger hurt Trevor, too. And it made interacting with her parents and his even more difficult. She shuddered. Unless Trevor’s parents worked miracles, her mother would almost certainly return to her husband. She could only pray her father didn’t kill her Mom when that happened. Forgiving her mother was easy, but her father was a lost cause. She rubbed her chest; the little girl inside of her hurt, remembering the gentle giant her dad had been so many years ago. But that man was long gone. All she could do was send love from her heart to her mother’s and hope it made a difference.
She could also forgive Trevor’s parents for blaming her, no matter that it had been his father’s actions causing the conflict. His father was reluctantly changing, and Trevor’s mom was the same gracious woman she’d always been. Back in high school, while she’d followed her husband’s lead, she’d never been rude or mean to Sam. The way she took care of Mom after their meeting meant everything.
She forgave Trevor, too. Since Trevor’s return to Marcus, he’d been mostly supportive, conciliatory, and very protective. He’d reacted poorly a few times, mostly when they’d taken control from him. As an FBI agent and former Navy officer, that must be rare in his life. Plus, he’d been stuck between his orders and his desires.
Certainly, he’d been hostile and kind of horrible when he first came on the scene, but Sam had to forgive him. If it made no difference to Trevor, it did to her. Plus, she’d survived multiple attempts on her life with his help. But she felt more than gratitude. No matter how she’d tried to avoid the truth, she still loved him.
Despite that, she couldn’t fully trust him with her heart. When his mission was over, he’d leave. His job was in the DC area, and she was staying in the Bitterroots. Moving to a crowded city, being an unimportant cog in a big law firm—none of that was for her. Even if she found a small practice or worked in a non-profit, starting over in the dangerous waters of politics and big money sent shivers of revulsion through her.
In the end, whether or not she admitted her love, she’d end up with a broken heart. Or a long-distance relationship for years, and then she’d end up moving, anyway. On the other hand, giving up her life and friends would certainly be a gigantic demonstration of devotion.
If she stayed, turning Trevor away, they’d both have broken hearts. After all the years of dating, she no longer believed she’d find true love. Trevor was it for her. But he might. He’d probably be happier without her prickly attitude, stubbornness, and overflowing closets.
Nice clothes, makeup, good hair, and a comfortable house seemed like a distant memory. But without Trevor, material things, along with the rest of her life, were empty and dull.
Trevor was important. Critical.
She had to take the leap, even if she ended up broken at the bottom of the cliff.
Chapter twenty
Trevor glanced over at Sam, asleep in the passenger seat. She’d wiggled and shifted until he talked her through a meditation sequence, trailing off when her body relaxed. Fortunately, his short nap had energized him. He was in no danger of falling asleep at the wheel.
An hour later, he left the freeway and drove the back roads through Missoula. After running out of options, he pulled his baseball cap lower and got on the highway south. Sam’s slumber had a side benefit—anyone looking for two people in a vehicle would ignore them. Watching the surrounding cars, he left the highway when he could and wound through neighborhoods to their new safe house.
He drove down a long dirt driveway, thick brush on both sides creating a screen from the road. At the end, the brush disappeared, and well-spaced, mature pines surrounded the house. He turned the SUV around at the end, so they’d be ready to leave fast. When he reversed, Sam bolted upright. “Sam, it’s okay. We’re at the new safe house.”
She put a hand to her heart and turned toward him with wide eyes. “That’s not a fun way to wake up. I’m not cut out for this kind of excitement.”
Trevor couldn’t hold back a snort. “Me either.” He was more than ready to review spreadsheets in a bland but secure cubicle. Or at a home office in Hamilton.
Her brows wrinkled. “Seems like you’re doing just fine.”
“No, not really.” He sighed. They’d have time to talk later. Or he hoped they would. “Grab your bag. Let’s get inside.” He got out and picked up his bag and the rifle. The bolt was tight; he’d clean it and their pistols while they had the chance. Ideally, he’d get the opportunity to properly sight in the rifle. Adjusting on the fly wasn’t fun, especially when inaccuracy might mean dying.
Peering into the forest, Trevor let Sam lead the way to the door. He entered the code into the keypad, making sure Sam saw it, and entered first. After disarming the alarm system, he placed his bag and the rifle’s case softly on the floor, then drew his pistol and cleared the house. Sam followed him, her weapon in hand. They found no one and no sign anyone had been there recently.
The house was furnished with comfortable pieces, and family pictures indicated it was someone’s home, not a rental. Or maybe a second home, from the outdoor adventure gear in the mudroom. In the main bedroom, two large photos decorated the wall above matching dressers. The first showed a grinning Air Force Master Sergeant in dress blues, the beautiful woman next to him in a wedding dress, and a German Shepherd at their feet. Which explained the dog bed at the foot of the king size bed. Next to the wedding photo was a picture of the bride in casual clothes, the older woman next to her obviously her mother. Their joyful smiles made Trevor long for pictures of his own with Sam.
They returned to the front door. He alarmed the exterior of the house, then grabbed his stuff. “Take the upstairs room, please, Sam.”
She chuckled. “Oh, sure, you get the big bed.”
Trevor snorted. “No, that’s too far away from the stairs. I’ll sleep on the couch.” The back side of the house was a big wall of windows, including a sliding glass door to a patio. Large windows let light into the kitchen and entryway, too. Each had a security bar and alarms, but even so, he’d stay downstairs.
