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“I think it might help them see why you want to write, why you should write.” He pointed at her. “I listen sometimes when you read aloud. I think even the ancients would agree it would be a crime to bury your talent in the law.”
Theo said nothing, was able to say nothing, caught off balance by such a surge of love for her brother at that moment. Late of an evening, she would read aloud what she’d written that day, listening for rhythm and pace, testing the sound of the spoken words against the voices in her imagination. Gus was often in the living room reviewing files and drafting advice. He’d never said a word about the noise, so she’d had no idea he’d listened.
“Good grief, you’re not going to cry again, are you?” Gus said, handing her the paper napkins that had come with the pizza. “I thought Americans were emotional!”
“Shut up.” Theo ignored the napkins and used the heel of her hand instead.
Gus picked up yet another slice of pizza. “Look, Theo, I’m not going to get all big-brother on you about this bloke Murdoch, but just promise me you’ll be careful. I probably should—”
“You shouldn’t anything, Gus. I’m an adult.”
“I probably should tell you he’s too old for you, but at least he and the ancients will have a lot in common.”
“He’s not that old!”
“You said he was old.”
“I said he was older.”
“Do you know how old he is?”
“No.”
“Do you know much about him, Theo?”
“Of course, I do. He’s famous, for one thing.” Theo frowned, aware suddenly that though she knew Dan Murdoch, she didn’t know that much about him. They had talked often and for hours, but about writing. For her, newly enamored with the craft, that had been everything. She had neither noticed nor cared that the conversations had not included revelations or anecdotes about his life. And then yesterday they’d spent the afternoon making love, and he’d mentioned a dog who ate his watch, and it seemed that he was beginning to let her farther in. But thinking about it now, they had never talked of family or friends. He’d never said much about his past, had never asked about hers. Maybe he thought her too young to have a past. Maybe he thought her too young, period.
“Would you like to meet him?” she asked quietly. Somehow, she’d never introduced Dan Murdoch to her brother. She wasn’t entirely sure why. Gus worked long days at the firm, and she and Dan parted ways every afternoon to write on their own; whenever Dan had dropped her home, he’d stayed in the car…and perhaps she had not wanted to share her time with him.
Gus shrugged. “Sure.”
“I’ll invite him to come to dinner next Saturday.”
Theo set out for Benders the next morning determined to carry on cheerfully, to demonstrate that there were no hard feelings on her part. She would ask Dan to join her and Gus for dinner on Saturday, and she would cook something she could pass off as an Australian delicacy if it didn’t come out quite right. She would never bring up her manuscript again, and the whole embarrassing episode would be put behind them. He would not need to feel guilty about his reluctance, and she would not need to feel humiliated by it. Today she would draft letters to the list of agents she had compiled the night before. Some part of her was invigorated by the thought of doing it on her own. She’d not known Dan Murdoch when she’d dropped out of law school and caught a flight to the U.S. with two suitcases and her research notes. Then, she’d believed enough in an idea about the spirit of a city to gamble her entire future on it. She’d been consumed by the thought of saying something important about the lives that belonged to the land upon which a city was raised, about how what was buried formed the foundation of new buildings in the sun. It was both terrifying and wonderful to need that level of belief again, to return to it.
She arrived before Dan and got straight to work trying to write the perfect three-hundred-word synopsis for Underneath. The process of condensing the essence of her novel into so short a summary was torturous.
It was midday before she thought to check the time, to note that Dan had not yet arrived. Fleetingly, she wondered if he was avoiding her, before she told herself not to be ridiculous. Dan sometimes went to the gym in the morning. She ordered a coffee and returned to work. But as the afternoon passed Theo became more and more aware of the fact that he was not there. By the day’s end, she had begun to wonder if she would ever see him in Benders again. Had what she asked been so outrageous, such an imposition that he would shun her forever? And after they’d been lovers… At some point she stopped being mortified by the thought and began to get angry.
It wasn’t such an unreasonable thing to ask a friend, and she had not pressed when he seemed reluctant.
Theo checked her watch. It was nearly seven. She packed up her laptop and notes before rummaging in her bag for her phone. Hoisting the bag onto her shoulder, she left Benders as she dialed. There was no answer..
She tapped the phone against her chin as she walked. Dan always answered his phone. It didn’t seem to ring often, but he never declined a call…something about his agent requiring that he be always contactable should some media opportunity arise. She glanced at her watch again. Dan lived just a couple of blocks away. Perhaps it would not be too weird or clingy to swing by on her way home.
She winced as she remembered what Gus had been doing when she’d arrived unannounced. Of course Dan wouldn’t be…would he? The thought was painful. She was surprised by how acutely. By this time, she was only a block from his house.
She straightened her shoulders. She’d drop by. It was a normal thing for a friend to do. She could always not knock if it looked like he had a visitor.
Dan’s house came into view. Theo felt her heart sink. There was a car in the driveway. A black Cadillac. Of course there was. She was an idiot.
She stepped back behind one of the taller topiaries as the front door opened. A man walked out briskly and climbed into the car. Tall, dressed in a business suit and overcoat. He pulled out quietly with the headlights off. Theo watched the vehicle turn and disappear. She was ridiculously relieved and determined now to invite Dan Murdoch to dinner.
She was smiling when she knocked. “Dan! Dan, it’s Theo.” A large ginger cat jumped onto the doorstep and rubbed itself against her calves.
The blue door moved. That did not alarm Theo particularly. It was an old door that probably needed to be locked with a key. She peered round it into the hallway and called out again. “Dan?”
The cat ran past her and down the hallway.
