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Before I knew what I was doing, I was up and rounding the table, and kneeled in front of her. All without letting go of her hand. In this position, with our height difference, we were almost at eye level with one another.
“But what?” My voice sounded scratchy in my ears, and her eyes softened. I knew better than to ask a question I wasn’t prepared to hear the answer to, but my damn mouth and heart were working against me.
“But only if you can tell me you’re really going to give this thing, us, a shot,” she said with a calmness I wanted to wrap around me. Her dark eyes never wavered from my blue ones as I stroked the top of her hand.
“A real shot.” I swallowed. This was where I confessed the truth. Or what had been the truth when I set this whole plan in motion. I’d had no intention of making this relationship last even one spin around the sun, much less a lifetime.
“Yeah. A real shot at something. A marriage. A life together.” A life together. I let her words settle in my chest and waited to freak out. I had never been the commitment kind of guy. The only thing I could commit to were the projects my construction company took on.
But the longer I waited, the more I liked the idea of it being Sunny’s eyes I woke up to every morning. My eyes dropped to our hands, and I felt something in my shoulders loosen. I wanted hers to be the hand I held on to for as long as she would have me.
“I mean, I know kids might not be something we’re ready for considering how you get them and the fact you don’t like me around you… but I’d like them.” Kids. Babies and the way you got them. Sex. She wanted that. “Maybe in the future. Once we get to know one another a little better and—" I put my hand up, and she stopped talking.
My brain and heart were in the middle of a battle, but I knew which one was going to win, if it hadn’t already. My heart wanted to give her everything she wanted. It wanted to get started on those babies she wanted to fill my house and bless my life with.
But my brain? Fuck, my brain was stubborn as an old mule, stuck on the plan we’d made. This whole thing had been meant as an arrangement. One I would get out of quietly without anyone in my family even noticing.
But if I gave her those things, I was pretty sure my mom would notice little Sunnys running around. I covered her hand with mine. My eyes dropped, loving the contrast. Tan against fair skin. Big and rough against her tiny delicate one. My eyes rose and locked on hers.
“That first morning, in my bed, I should have explained a little more.” My heart took over and ignored all the red flags waving at me to stop.
“March—"
“Women around here would want more,” I repeated what I’d said that first morning, and I could see the doubt in her gaze. “Yes, that’s true. They’d want happily ever afters. And when I found out about what my grandfather had done, the stipulation he added to the loan? Sunny, I didn’t believe I had that in me. I’m not sure I believed in that kind of thing.”
“Right,” she whispered, her gaze weary as she held my hand.
Fuck. How the hell had that been a couple of days ago? How the hell had the arrival of a burst of sunshine changed everything I believed in?
“And that’s how our paths crossed. Fuck me, babe, I can’t regret it. Not when it means that my stupid ass somehow lucked out to have the honor of sitting across from you.”
“March, you don’t have to?—"
“You were right, babe,” I cut in. “I’ve been avoiding you after we got our marriage certificate. Part of me is freaked out that you’re you and agreeing to marry me when I feel like I do about you, you’re going to wake up and change your mind. It’s going to be that, or I’m going to find a way to fuc— mess it up.”
“Why would you do that?”
“Because I’m almost forty and have never been in a relationship, Sunny. I’m a grown-ass man, but I’ve never fallen in love, I’ve never been in a real deal situation with someone. I’m going in blind with this.”
“March—"
“And when you stepped out of the bathroom with a wall around you, I wasn’t sure how to make it right.” I winced. I had no idea if I was making sense or if everything I was saying sounded like bullshit. Sunny had me so turned around, I had no idea which way was up.
“You’re right,” she whispered. “I did that. March, I just… I don’t want to get hurt,” she confessed. The need to protect her, keep her and her heart safe, washed over me. It surged through my veins, making me need to be that man for her. The one she knew no matter what was in her corner. Today and always.
“I don’t want to hurt you either.” My tone dropped. “And for the record, I do like having you in bed with me.” Again, my heart took the reins of my mouth, and it was like I couldn’t stop telling her how I felt. “I fucking loved it, Sunny. I genuinely can’t wait to sleep next to you again.”
“Oh.” She chewed on her bottom lip. The sight of teeth digging into that plump flesh made me feel like I was on edge. Fuck, she was sweet and so damn innocent I felt like a dirty old man, so damn tempted and ready to corrupt her. “Luke saw me walking and offered me a ride. He seemed surprised when I didn’t tell him about us when I realized he knew you.”
“The sheriff is a nosy fuck,” I muttered and didn’t miss the way her perfect lips twitched like she thought I was funny. “I’m sorry I got jealous.” I sighed. “Nerves and the green-eyed monster are a bad combo, but either way, I shouldn’t have acted that way, much less spoken to you in that tone. I’m genuinely sorry, Sunny.” I lifted her hand, and without thinking, I brought it to my mouth and dropped a soft kiss on it. Her skin felt incredibly silky against my lips, and everything inside me, every fucking molecule that made me who I was, wanted to explore the rest of her to see if she was that smooth all over.
“March,” she whispered. My eyes rose to hers just in time to watch her lick her lips, leaving the pouty flesh glossy and shiny.
“Yeah, sunshine?” I couldn’t recognize my own voice. Her dark stare dropped to my mouth, and I swear to god, my lips tingled to life. Who the hell was I kidding? My entire body felt like a damn live wire, electric and sparking to life.
“I think…
“Yeah?” I swallowed hard. My Adam’s apple bobbed.
