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Buckey sipped his coffee, pinky up. “Only kids I’ve seen are my own when they’re screamin’ at me and holdin’ out their grubby little hands for my money when I get home every night. How Carly talked me into havin’ another, I’ll never know.” He winked at me.
“No kids,” Max confirmed with a shake of his head. He took off his winter cap, dropping it on the table in front of him and running his hand through his hair.
“Alright, well, keep your eyes peeled, eh?”
He nodded. “You got it.”
“Mind if I drive around the property a bit this mornin’, just to take a look?”
“Sure,” he said, “but there’s places on this ranch a truck can’t get to. If the kid’s here somewhere, ain’t no guarantee you’ll find him.”
“I know, but just in case. Maybe he’d stay close to more food.”
“Yeah,” Buckey said, “but then we’d notice him.”
Max saw the worry on my face. “G’on then. Call if you need help. Buckey and I got a bunch of upkeep shit to do today, but we’ll be around.”
“Thanks.”
* * *
Damn. I really hoped Murphy wasn’t out here.
These mountains were a harsh place for a kid to try to survive, but the Grand Tetons were some of the most beautiful parts of America I’d ever seen, especially topped with snow. The prickly green edges of the fir and pine trees poked through two feet of the white fluff, and steam rose from the curving river in the distance.
I’d driven up an old access road and parked, and I stood there, looking out at nothing and everything all at the same time.
This right here was what I wanted. A real cabin somewhere in the mountains. I’d take my family up for summers, and we’d fish and hunt and enjoy life the way it was meant to be lived. Free.
The silence was the thing. I could hear myself think up here, could block out all the ugliness I saw every day.
A tree creaked to my right, a clump of snow fell, making a plopping sound, and I turned my head just as a doe stepped through into the clearing. She saw me, but she didn’t run.
I was hoping to find smoke from a burning campfire somewhere on the horizon, but I didn’t. There was nothing to see but gleaming white snow, mountains, and a cold blue sky.
I watched the doe, silently conveying my wish that she’d look for the boy too. I wasn’t sure how she could’ve helped him, but just another soul witnessing him would’ve made me feel better.
As if she’d understood me, she lowered her head slowly but then turned and leapt back into the trees, and I was alone again, looking out at the beautiful nothingness, worried, but my heart was warm and aching to see Samantha.
If anybody could cure the heartbreak I was feeling for this kid, it was her.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
SAMANTHA
Juni stayed after book club to make sure I was okay after I’d melted down in front of everyone, and we made plans to go for a drink after I closed the library. She drove us out to the Duck & Bowl, Wisper’s “finest” nightlife establishment. They had beer from a keg, which they served in red plastic cups. You could order a whiskey and Coke if you didn’t like beer, but it tasted more like gasoline and Coke, if you asked me. But the draw was the live ducks.
There were flocks of them out back. They raised them and sometimes brought the babies indoors. If the owner’s daughter Jacinda was working, you could hold and pet them. Unfortunately, she wasn’t here tonight, so Juni and I sat at the counter, sipping our five-dollar swill, watching the bowling teams as they played their slow games and listening to the crack and tumble of the pins echoing down at the ends of the lanes, while I tried not to imagine exactly what they were raising the ducks for.
It had only just occurred to me. Why would anyone raise ducks? At a bowling alley? They were well cared for, but seriously, not knowing why was starting to disturb me.
“So how was the rest of your day?” Juni asked as I made a face while a mouthful of beer slipped down my throat. Budweiser was definitely not my favorite, but it seemed to be the unofficial beer of Wyoming. We should’ve gone to Manny’s Bar. He had IPAs, but he didn’t have ducks.
“Oh, you know,” I said with a wave of my hand, “it was fine. How was yours?”
“Good. I had an idea for a new series, so I spent the afternoon jotting down notes.” Juni seemed to be hedging her next words. “Are you… feeling better after the thing at book club today?”
“Yeah. I’m fine. I just…” I hung my head, still ashamed of my reaction earlier in the day. “I’m sorry.” The ladies were becoming my friends, just like I’d been hoping, and then I turned around and yelled at them?
