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He nodded. “That I have.”
“But are you sure you should be… I mean, it’s pretty fast. I guess I’m just surprised to see such a change in such a short amount of time.”
“It’s been a long time comin’, don’tcha think?”
“Well… yeah. Yeah, I do.”
“Good. Hey, whatcha know about that big dance comin’ up? You goin’?”
“I… Yeah. I mean, I invited someone just last night, actually. But they haven’t given me an answer yet.”
“Oh, well, I’m plannin’ to ask Liluye to go with me, and you’re welcome to tag along, if you’d like, Sheriff Lee. I’d be happy to escort ya.”
Sheriff Lee? Was this the fucking twilight zone?
“Thanks, Red. That’s real kind, but no, thank you.” I laughed. I had no clue what else I should be doing or how to respond. That would be the weirdest date ever. With the town jackhole and the mother of the woman I was hoping to perform cunnilingus on every night from here on out?
Yeah, no thanks.
Plus, he hadn’t even asked Devo’s mama yet, and she might say no. She probably should say no.
But Red shrugged, like the possibility of being shot down hadn’t even occurred to him, and he turned to lift a feather duster from the far end of the counter, humming and dusting perfectly clean shelves on the wall behind the register.
It occurred to me that I’d stumbled on the perfect opportunity to test the waters. I could tell Red about Devo. As bizarre as he was this morning, Red seemed as receptive as he’d probably ever be.
And Devo was definitely worth the risk.
So was I.
And it was the perfect way to find out just how committed Red was to his new attitude.
I stepped a little closer to the counter. It felt weird, but I stood my ground and shook out my hands, then let them hang by my sides. “Actually,” I said, “I invited Devo to the dance.”
Red turned slowly but didn’t say anything. I had his attention, though, as he looked right at me and waited for me to say more.
“I’m a lesbian, Red. I’m gay.”
Someone could’ve knocked me over with that feather duster when he walked around the long length of the counter, stopped right in front of me, and wrapped me in a heartfelt hug.
“Then I owe you another apology,” he said. “I’m sorry I’ve been disrespectful. You didn’t deserve it, and I’m ashamed of the comments and dirty looks I’ve given people over the years. I was angry. Lord, I’ve lost so much time bein’ angry.” He hugged me tighter. “I lost the love of my child. I’ve lost a lifetime. But no more. I just… Somethin’ just clicked inside me. Has that ever happened to you?”
He stepped back. I didn’t answer his question because I couldn’t. I couldn’t talk, and when he saw the tear fall from the corner of my eye, he nodded. He understood the emotion clogging my throat, and he said, “I should’ve been someone you could depend on. A friend. At the very least, I should’ve been tolerable and tolerant, and I wasn’t. I hope someday I can earn your forgiveness.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
DEVO
My mom stepped into my bedroom, planted her feet, and crossed her arms. “Devil, I’m gonna say this to you one more time, and I say it with love, but it’s time for you to grow up.”
“What?” I turned to face her, leaning against my tall, wooden dresser, one sock on, the other one still in my hand. “How can you say that to me? I’ve been bustin’ my ass. I’ve never worked harder than I do at the center. And where are Lola and Avi?” Looking around my bedroom dramatically, I flung my arms out around me, like she needed to be reminded that my brother and sister were gone, off living their lives elsewhere. Barely bothering to call to check up on you, I might add. “I’ve always looked out for you, haven’t I? I feel like all I do is take care of other people. Of you. But I need to ‘grow up’? What does that even mean, Mom?”
“You’re right. You have taken care of me. You stayed. They left. Everybody knows Devo carries the weight of the whole world on her shoulders. But who asked you to?”
My jaw hit the floor. “Wh-what? Who asked me to? You’re sayin’ I shouldn’t take care of you? I shouldn’t fight for the people I love? I shouldn’t work hard to make sure you have the things you need? That you’re safe and healthy and happy?”
“Oh, my courageous fighter, ’course you should, if that’s what makes you happy. But it can’t be all you do. And my happiness isn’t your responsibility. It never has been. Not before your dad died, and not after. I love you so much for tryin’, and I’m proud of every single thing you do. Every legal thing,” she amended. “But aren’t you tired? You’ve been runnin’ like this since you were a teenager. I thought your tank would be empty by now, and you’d get on with life like the rest of us, but you’re still standin’ in the middle of the ring, ready to box. Haven’t you noticed you’re the only one there?”
I backed away from my open sock drawer and sat on the end of my bed. “What are you even sayin’ right now?”
