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I killed the engine and scratched my forehead.
I’d never been here before, having only met Christine in person twice. When her marriage to KC began and when it’d just ended. I’d been to the house they’d shared as a family, and unless she’d gambled away most of it, she must’ve ended up with a neat cash sum even after buying this place.
“Sir?”
“Yes?”
Noa didn’t look away from the house. Its empty front yard, the rusty mailbox, the chain-link fence, the overgrown lawn.
“Am I allowed to be angry with her?” he asked uncertainly.
I frowned. “Of course you are, Noa. Look at me, please.” I waited till he’d shifted in his seat to face me, and I hated the sadness in his eyes. “I’m not vilifying her when I say you’ve had to suffer the consequences of her actions. I’m stating facts—and several things can be true at once. She can be a victim or, I don’t know—” I waved it off, unable to find a fitting term. To be honest, I didn’t care enough. My personal thoughts on the woman—she was a selfish fucking creature. “It doesn’t matter how she became an addict, because we’re not here to blame her. But with that said, in no way have you deserved her treatment. She’s used you as a therapist, she’s relied on you from an early age to take care of things that are her responsibility—she showed up drunk at your graduation, for chrissakes. Even I’m furious about that, and I wasn’t there.”
He nodded once and dropped his gaze to his lap. “I’ve tried to help her.”
“More times than most would,” I added, because it was nothing but the truth. He and KC had done everything in their power. “It’s time you put yourself first, baby.”
He bit his lip and took a deep breath, and his next nod was a little firmer. He looked up at the house again.
“She’s gonna hate me,” he said. “I’m prepared for that.”
I wished he was exaggerating. I could only hope it wasn’t permanent. Deep down, Christine loved her son. I had to believe that. She just had a bizarre way of showing it.
Noa cleared his throat and unbuckled his seat belt. “You know, a few weeks ago when Cameron and I drove out here, she commented on his new car…? And I had to think fast, so I said we’d bought it together—and then she was all, but what about insurance, car payments, can you afford this, and…stuff like that.”
He had to be sick of those white lies.
KC was right. This had been weighing on Noa for far too long.
“Okay, I’m gonna…” He hesitated when he saw me getting out of the car. “Are you coming with?”
“Absolutely. Nonnegotiable, I’m afraid.” I could be somewhat objective and polite in front of Noa and KC, but she wasn’t my mother, or my ex-wife. To me, she was a woman who’d hurt two men I loved deeply. “I’ll play nice unless I think she’s crossing a line.”
Noa sighed. “That’s what I’m afraid of.”
Well, I wasn’t sending him in there alone. Besides, KC would have my head.
I followed Noa up the path, through the squeaky gate, and toward the front door.
“I’m gonna get the ball rolling quickly,” he warned me over his shoulder.
“You always do.”
I smoothed down my hoodie and adjusted the drawstrings.
I was ready.
I’d asked for a cup of coffee and a cigarette, and I’d received a run-in with Ella and a family storm between Noa and his mother. So, almost the same thing.
I climbed the last porch step when Noa knocked on the front door and toed the welcome mat back into position. Such a small gesture, and yet it showed who Noa was to Christine. Always the one tidying up, mending cracks, and smoothing things over. It was ingrained in him to make her life easier.
He unlocked the door after a beat and poked his head in. “Mom?”
“In the kitchen, sweetie! Is Cam with you?”
“Um, no. Not today.” Noa kicked off his shoes, and I followed suit. The house smelled of nicotine and something freshly baked. Perhaps bread. Noa scrunched his nose. “It smells like your secret in here,” he said under his breath.
My mouth twitched at the same time as I felt my forehead wrinkle. “Has she not always smoked?” It wasn’t a detail I’d paid attention to.
