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Meanwhile…he’d entered a total power exchange with a young man who depended on him. They’d engaged in behavioral conditioning. They were Master and slave. Their core dynamic was high-protocol. Lucian was Cam’s world. They’d fused themselves together in every way imaginable, and then Lucian had pulled the rug out from underneath them.
“He fucking promised,” Cam croaked. Hurt and anger—betrayal too—rolled off him. “And if I see him, I’m gonna break. I’m gonna do whatever he asks, and it’s gonna hurt because…because I can’t t-trust him.”
I tightened my hold on him and kissed the top of his head. “I understand. You don’t have to see him. We can go home right now and?—”
“I-I talked to Archie,” he stammered. He wiped at his cheeks and peered up at me. “He said I could spend the night at their house.”
I furrowed my brow. Archie? They lived outside fucking Winchester. Cam wasn’t merely in need of a night away from Lucian; he wanted to put distance between himself and the rest of us too.
“I just need to gather my thoughts, Sir,” he said, pulling out his phone. He sniffled and wiped at his cheeks again. “I’m sorry. I know it’s selfish, but?—”
I shook my head, responding on autopilot. “It’s called self-preservation, little one. You don’t have a selfish bone in you.” As much as I hated this… Fuck. He showed me the text conversation with Archie, and I nodded with a dip of my chin.
Cam had asked to come out there because he needed a “fellow slave” to talk to. I couldn’t begrudge him that, even less so since I couldn’t relate to the same degree. I could easily see that this was a painful mindfuck, but I couldn’t know just how much it affected him.
I had my limits, though. Cam had told Archie he’d drive himself, and that wasn’t happening.
“You’re not driving on your own when you’re upset, Cam,” I told him. It was too late anyway. “We’ll take your car back to the house, and then Noa and I will drive you out there.” I needed my own car for that. A regular car would send us down the nearest ditch, if I could even get my foot on the gas.
“But it’s an hour and a half one way,” he protested.
“You’re not going alone.” I wasn’t budging. I dipped down and kissed his nose. Jesus, I was already missing him, and he hadn’t left yet. It just killed me that this was something I couldn’t help him with. “If anything, Noa could use the ride to process the night. We can stop at a drive-thru along the way or something.”
Knowing my freckles, I would need to make sure his guilt didn’t linger either.
That would undoubtedly require more than one conversation.
Cam was hesitant, which was so very him. He didn’t want to be a bother—and bullshit like that. So that only strengthened my resolve. Lucian would sleep through the night; I had to focus on our boys.
“I’m gonna go back in and leave a message for Lucian, okay?” I cupped his cheek and brushed my thumb under his eye. “I want him to see when he wakes up that I’ll be there to pick him up in the morning.”
His eyes welled up again. “Am I the shittiest sub ever? I should be with him. I want to?—”
“Hey.” I cut him off gently but firmly. “This goes way beyond kink, sweetheart. But even then, no—don’t even go there. He’s been downplaying his stress for months, and it has consequences, not just for his health but for his relationships. I only hope…” I let out a breath. “I hope you won’t be gone for long.”
He shook his head quickly and stepped in for another hug. I was more than happy to hold him.
“A night or two—tops. I think I…” He cleared his throat and whimpered, and the sound was fucking painful to hear. “I need to get out of the slave mind-set somehow. I need to distance myself from that way of thinking.”
My chest felt tight, and everything was just so wrong. And yet, I couldn’t blame him for wanting to reinforce his defenses. I’d do the same thing.
“He’s gonna be okay, right?” He looked up at me, worry written all over him. “You said in your text…”
I nodded. “As long as he starts taking shit seriously, he’ll recover.”
And until Lucian showed progress, Cam had every right to be wary.
* * *
For the next hour, I had to push through the pain in my legs—and the anxious fucking ache in my heart. I left a note at Lucian’s bedside table and, as promised to both Noa and Cam, told him we loved him. Then Greer was calling me because he was obviously wondering and worrying about why Cam had decided to visit at this hour. So I had to tell him. I gave Greer a brief rundown of the night—and that Lucian would recover—before I let him know we’d drive Cam out to Winchester.
Dean, Santiago, and Gael were probably relieved as hell to go home. I’d have to find a way to thank them at some point.
Cam drove us back to our house in his little Mini Cooper SUV. And they were playing fast and loose with the term SUV for that make. I’d seen sedans that were larger. But at least I could take my painkillers as soon as we got home, and then we switched to my car since it was fitted for my needs, once Cam had packed an overnight bag.
We stopped to get some hot beverages and snacks on the way, partly because Noa hadn’t eaten a proper dinner and partly because I needed the caffeine.
The drive was silent and exhausting, and every time I glanced at the boys in the rearview, my restlessness grew. Noa didn’t like that Cam was “fucking off” for a night or two, and Cam was too close to tears the entire time.
