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“He had the worst case of abdomflixifluxitis the other week,” he went on. “It required two movie marathons, three cupcakes, and a bucket of fried chicken to cure him.”
“Jesus,” I laughed, unable to help it. That was too funny—and kinda fucking cute. I could totally see Noa abuse a made-up illness to get cuddles and ice cream.
Archie’s mirth faded as he read something on his phone, and then he pocketed it and faced me. “I received a text from Master. They’re taking Master Lucian’s name off the volunteer list for the Easter Egg Hunt.”
Shit. My amusement faded too, and I swallowed. Good for the Doms. I was sure Mistress Penelope had had her say as well. She and Master were like siblings sometimes.
“Is there no way to get KC to help?” he asked. “Judging by how he acted last night, he’s on your side.”
I half nodded and half shrugged. “It hasn’t really helped so far. KC tries, but…” Lucian couldn’t be made to do squat. He was so stubborn. “I’m gonna talk to him, though. Something needs to change, because…” Emotions welled up, along with a current of grief, at the thought of us having an expiration date. But that’s what we would have if nothing happened. I could only suffer in silence for so long before I gave myself an ulcer.
I was too weak to put my foot down. I was too weak to give an ultimatum.
At the same time, what we had now couldn’t last forever. Being upset and worried would eventually morph into resentment and a growing fear. My trust in my Owner would be shot. Everything would unravel.
My eyes burned with unshed tears, and I had to clear my throat. I set down my spoon too, no longer hungry. Or rather, I had zero fucking appetite.
“Um, do you mind if I go lie down for a bit?” I asked.
He probably knew I felt like crap. “Of course not. I’m gonna call Master and a couple friends to see if they have any updates.”
I nodded with a dip of my chin and pushed out my chair.
The second I went to grab my bowl, Archie just went, “Uh-uh. I’ll handle that.”
I huffed. “I’m not used to being waited upon, you know. Not like this.”
Lucian had other ways of showering me with affection that made me feel spoiled rotten—and now he was ruining that too. God-fucking-dammit! All the good was becoming tainted because he couldn’t fucking see that destroying himself was the worst thing he could do.
Fuck my life.
* * *
I scrunched my nose and frowned. Corey didn’t belong in this dream—and I knew it was a dream. Master’s arms around me felt like a ghost’s embrace. I saw it but felt nothing. His whispers got lost in the wind, kind of like his promises. He faded in a thick mist, all while Corey laughed goofily and stood off to the side.
“Choose us, Owner,” I pleaded with Lucian. “Please.”
Guilt draped its heavy blanket over me, and I flinched awake and blinked drowsily. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Was I being insensitive? Was I being unsupportive? He worked so hard for us, and maybe I just didn’t appreciate him enough.
Ugh, and I’d left him. I’d left him in the middle of the fucking night when he’d been in the hospital.
The sound of Corey’s laughter traveled up the stairs, offering a possible explanation as to why he’d invaded my useless dream begging.
I kicked off my covers and blew out a breath.
So far, I couldn’t hear any of the kids—wait, except for Kyla. She was up. But it wouldn’t be long before all the others were home.
I scrubbed my hands over my face and then stared up at the ceiling.
Noa had those glow-in-the-dark stickers attached to the ceiling of the bedroom he shared with KC too. Only difference was, Noa had opted for tiny lizards and spiders instead of stars.
“Because stars are boring!”
I missed him. I missed all of them.
Had I fucked up?
I dragged my ass out of bed and tidied up some before I trailed down the stairs.
