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“I can hardly believe you’re here,” I admitted, my voice thick with sleep.
He sat up too, and his smile softened. “When Master Greer told me you quit your job, I couldn’t borrow Corey’s car fast enough.”
God.
Relief seeped into me slowly, and I became antsy to fix things. To show him I’d gotten the wake-up call I’d needed—to show him I was taking it seriously—to beg for forgiveness, to reclaim him, to…to… Fuck, I just missed him so much.
The corners of Cam’s mouth twisted into a little smirk. “This is where you squish me again, Sir.”
A breathy chuckle gusted out of me, and my eyes smarted. Tears welled up rapidly, and I pulled him to me. It was indescribable how the faintest of his touches could evoke such strong emotions. It felt like he was gluing me back together, one brush of his fingers at a time.
I sniffled and hugged him tightly. “I’m so sorry for everything, Cameron.”
I would never forget the message he’d left.
Choose us, Master.
I chose him. I chose us, the two of us, the four of us. I wanted to promise him forever, that I was never leaving his side again, that he could count on me, lean on me, let me take over—I wanted to be everything he needed. And how would that sound coming from my lips right now?
“I miss you,” he whimpered. The sound sent me into overdrive. I was so goddamn angry with myself—and now halfway into a panic because my boy was so clearly upset, and it was all my fucking fault.
I sniffled again and inched away, and I cupped his face in my hands. Christ, I’d done this. I’d made him cry. I’d made him doubt our future.
“I have a head full of promises, but I fear they’ll sound empty,” I admitted and brushed my thumbs under his eyes. “I’m gonna show you instead, Cam. Okay? I’m gonna show you.”
He nodded jerkily and threw his arms around my neck.
I blew out a breath and squeezed him tight. I rubbed his back, kissed his shoulder, and felt utterly useless. Because regaining his trust was going to take time, and I wasn’t the most patient man.
“I will make this right, baby,” I whispered thickly.
Maybe he was letting go. I’d put him through months of worries, and I could only imagine the tension that built up when you were scared and not believing a word of what your so-called Owner said. Christ, I’d been such a fool. An asshole and a fool.
The harder Cam cried, the tighter I held him.
Each broken sob of his tore through me and felt like an arsenal of jagged knives.
“I can’t apologize enough.” I cupped the back of his head and pressed kisses to his temple. “I’m so sorry.”
He shook his head and withdrew to wipe at his face. “I think I forgave you the moment I heard you quit. It’s just…I need you to be okay, Lucian.” He sniffled and crawled up in my lap. “If you’re not okay, we’re not okay.”
I swallowed hard and hugged him to me again.
If you’re not okay, we’re not okay.
“That’s what’s hurt the most—you being so dismissive about your health,” he croaked.
“Never again,” I vowed. “I swear to you. I got my ass handed to me, and I know I can’t go back to anything near as hectic. My job hasn’t made me happy in years anyway. I’ve been driven by a compulsive need to do right by myself, to take responsibility, and to do it well.” I pressed my lips to the side of his head. “It’s not an excuse, merely an explanation. I lost focus on what’s truly important to me.”
Cam shuddered and slid his forehead to the crook of my neck, and he exhaled unsteadily. “Daddy’s hinted that your obsession with work has to do with your dad.” He lifted his head and glanced at me, and I furrowed my brow and wiped his cheeks. “And, like, money.”
KC wasn’t necessarily wrong, but that explanation had its expiration date. So many years had passed since I’d lost my father, and I’d been financially secure for a long time.
“When my father passed,” I started by saying, choosing my words carefully, “I did promise never to put myself in a position I couldn’t get out of on my own. Financially speaking,” I amended. “That last year in high school—I loathed every uncertainty. I didn’t know if I’d have to change schools again, I didn’t know how much time he had left, I didn’t know how I was going to manage once he’d…” I released a breath.
I’d had KC back then, and I’d had two feisty grandmothers.
“In retrospect, I had no reason to worry about anything besides losing my dad,” I went on. “I became absorbed by money because I saw all the hospital bills. I knew how high my tuition was, I knew the size of our mortgage, I knew Dad couldn’t work any longer, and I saw no solution.”
