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I draped an arm around her shoulders. “Is this about Ella?”
She slumped in her seat and released a breath. “It’s honestly not, hon. I’m just…floundering. Trying to figure out who I am without her.”
That made sense. I’d floundered a bit myself after I’d broken up with Robert. Though, to be honest, I’d mostly been a coward. I’d known for a long time something was wrong. I’d just lived in denial. I’d tried to stick to my commitment.
“Do you miss her?” I wondered.
She pursed her lips and offered a slow shake of her head. “I thought I did. Up until about a month ago, but… No. With the way she left and how she betrayed me, it was like a switch flipped overnight. I’ve mourned the good years we had and the dreams I thought we shared, and now…I don’t know. I think I’m done with relationships altogether. I’ll stick to play partners and one-nighters.”
I frowned. I’d said the same thing after my ex, when I’d been too much of a chickenshit to immediately claim Cam. Regardless of how wrong Robert had been for me, a failed relationship hurt. I’d taken it very personally. And I’d erected walls around myself afterward. I’d sought out Cam at every event, all while keeping my physical distance and vowing to myself that I only wanted something casual.
“Do you remember what you told me when I said I was going to approach Cameron for a casual arrangement?”
She lifted a brow and glanced up at me. “That you were an idiot.”
I nodded. “You’re an idiot, Penelope. You’ve never been casual. That’s not who you are.”
“It’s not who I was,” she corrected stubbornly. “I’m not the same woman anymore. Who knows, maybe the casual route will make me happy.”
And maybe brats could form a rational thought.
* * *
“Baby, that’s the fourth time I’ve seen you rub at your chest in the last half hour,” KC told me. “I want you to take your anxiety meds, your painkillers, and go to bed.”
I scowled and closed the fridge so I could face him. “The doctor said the pain will lessen over time.”
“When you rest and take care of yourself,” he added pointedly. “Come on. Noa and I can step out and pick up food. You go get some sleep.”
Noa stalked up to me with a firm expression. “You listen to Daddy now, okay?”
I scoffed and turned to KC. “That’s going to get old. I don’t do well with brats telling me what to do unless I can punish them.”
“Daddy, protect me!” Noa swooped behind KC, and it annoyed me how quickly my…annoyance faded. His cuteness bothered me.
Additionally, he was entirely too adorable in his puppy briefs with his silicone tail wagging at every turn. And I missed him too.
“Counterproposal,” I said to KC. “You order for food to be delivered, and when it arrives, you can find the boys with me in my bed. We’ll eat there.”
Noa’s eyes lit up at the prospect of a sleepover with food in bed, so we waited for KC’s verdict.
“You won’t punish him for helping you,” he told me.
I showed my palms in surrender. “He hasn’t seen the end of my fuse yet, I promise.”
For Noa, my fuse was absurdly long. That bothered me too.
“Then we have a deal.” KC ruffled Noa’s hair and kissed the top of his head. “Go cuddle with Uncle Lucian and your brother, and I’ll be up when the food gets here. Okay?”
Noa nodded furiously. “But holler so I can help you carry stuff. That’s the rule—and I get to push the buttons on the lift!”
That was why my fuse was so long with this boy. He was so incredibly thoughtful. And evidently, it was never going to get old for him to utilize KC’s wheelchair lift on the stairs. He probably used it more than KC did.
A few moments later, Noa and I headed upstairs, and KC dug out our selection of takeout menus. We had fewer options now that I had to eat healthier, but sadly, they always found something. This wasn’t new. They’d been trying to get me to eat better for months.
I’m counting my blessings. Counting them hard.
By the time we reached Cam’s and my bedroom, I picked Noa up, to the sound of his squeal, and I blew raspberries against his tummy.
