AllFreeNovel
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“Nothing’s wrong, but I wanted to run something by you.”
“Oh okay, but if it’s going to ruin the night then maybe we should wait. I want tonight to be perfect.” He offered her a rare smile.
“Everything I experience with you is perfect, Cali, because it’s me getting a piece of you no matter what the vibe is. I want all of this—the good shit, the crazy arguments, the uncertainty, and fucking you confidently when those doubts surface. We’re not doing that fake shit where we only acknowledge the good times. I want every single emotion. Whether I like it or not, I want them all because I’m man enough to handle each one you bring.”
She was at a loss for words but he continued. “I want you with me all the time. Or at least access to you all the time. If you’re not ready to be at the crib with me twenty-four-seven then you can have my place in the city. If you don’t want that, let me get you something else. I know where we started, how we started, but this thing we’re in has to be about us.”
“It’s not about access, it’s about you not wanting me in a place I shared with him.”
“Fuck no I don’t want you there, so yeah, that’s part of it. But the biggest part is me wanting access. If you agree, I’ll pack all your shit and have you moved into my spot tonight. I get that we’re on a fast track so if you need time to process what our future looks like, I’m cool with that too.”
“You said my future only includes you. What is there to process?” She arched a brow and he nodded.
“I’m just giving you the space to get there,” he continued. “But the point is, I want access. Are you willing to give me that?”
She exhaled a sigh. “As crazy as it feels to say yes, saying no and denying you feels insane. So yes, I’ll give you access.”
“Denying me is for sure insane.” A shadow of a smile surfaced on his handsome face. “You coming to the house?”
“Yes, but I want access to your apartment just in case you piss me off.”
He chuckled. “Aight, you got that.”
“And I want to thoroughly gut it and make it ours.”
“Then all you need to do is replace the bed. I’m dead ass, that’s all they had access to.”
“War…” she warned and he lifted her hand and kissed her wrist.
“Whatever you choose is fine with me.”
She chewed her lip then said, “Conner is getting her own place. I had already planned to move out of mine. It doesn’t make sense anymore.”
“Why?” he asked with a stern look.
“The apartment or Conner?”
“Both, but start with the apartment not making sense.”
He needed to know she no longer wanted to hang onto the past.
“He taught me things about myself, some good, some bad. The lessons were not always easy but moving on is. It doesn’t make sense to stay in that memory of what my life used to be.”
War nodded and asked, “And Conner?”
“She said I’m a dependency.” Cali frowned and War chuckled, seeing how that had his lady conflicted.
“How so?”
“She depends on me to be her stability instead of creating her own. Dr. K suggested that Conner find her footing so she and I can have a relationship based on friendship and love, not dependency.”
“And you disagree?”
“Of course I do. It hurts my feelings but she’s right. You love people in different ways. I loved my sister by default because she’s my sister. I felt a need to protect her, give what others wouldn’t. That’s not good or bad, it just is. I know she’s an amazing person—smart, beautiful, and she has a big heart. I want to experience all of Conner’s attributes by choice. We need to build our relationship with who we are now, not what we were subjected to in the past, or lack thereof. I agree with Dr. K, but it still fucking hurts. It feels like I’m losing my sister.”
“You’re not. You’re just shifting into a space where you get to know her in different ways, which is a beautiful thing.”
Cali groaned. “This is too much change too fast.”
