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“No, but one day it will. I’m not even sure why or how the money’s still coming but I can’t keep living like it’s going to be there forever.”
“It might and hell if you don’t want it, I’ll take it.”
“Conner!” Cali’s shoulder dropped as she paused briefly before pressing the lock icon on the keypad affixed to her apartment door.
“Okay fine but I’m sure you have time. It’s not like you’ve been spending the money anyway. Well other than your bills and he gives you more than enough to cover all of your expenses and still ball the fuck out. You just don’t.”
“Because it doesn’t feel like my money.”
“Oh my god, Cali, are you still on that? It’s yours.”
“Yes, I’m still on that. I struggled with the decision to let Merritt take care of me when he was here but now, it just doesn’t feel right. It’s like…”
“It’s like he loved you enough to make sure you were taken care of. There’s nothing wrong with a man loving his girl enough to set her up nicely. Shit, do you know what I would give to have that type of man in my life? I can barely get Maurice to go half with me on the rent.”
“What?”
“Nothing, just stop stressing. He gave you time to figure out what you really want to do. Figure it out and stop fucking complaining about having the world at your fingertips,” Conner snapped before ending the call. She hadn’t meant to take her frustrations out on her sister but the reason behind them was a dangerous place to be.
Cali sat in her car staring at the background of her phone, not believing Conner had just hung up on her. She called back twice but the calls went to voicemail and were followed up by a text.
Conner: Sorry, just having a really bad day. I love you and I’ll call you later.
Cali’s shoulders slumped again before she replied.
Cali: Love you too. If you need me, for anything, I’m here.
Conner: I know.
Locking her phone, Cali started the car and pulled out of the parking garage. She understood her sister’s need to feel love but the man she chose was abusing that need and manipulating it as a weakness. Cali prayed daily for her sister because that was about all she could do with the situation. Until Conner was truly ready to put herself first and move on, there wasn’t much Cali could do but be there for whatever her sister needed.
Half an hour later, Cali walked into Blended to grab a smoothie. After she had her favorite, she was back on the sidewalk, peering into the window of a bookstore. It had been awhile since Cali had actually physically touched a book. These days with convenience she could gain instant access to anything she wanted with a few swipes and clicks to get books on her Kindle app. There was however something nostalgic about a true paperback or hardback. She felt a sense of peace brushing her fingers over the cover and spine as well as snuggling into a cozy corner and flipping pages.
The reminder had Cali walking into Mahogany Books to explore. She was greeted right away by a beautiful brown face and a soft smile.
“Welcome to Mahogany. How can I help you?”
“I uhhh…” Cali glanced around and the woman spoke again.
“First time here?”
“Yes, actually it is.”
“No worries. Is there anything particular you’re looking for? A specific title, maybe? Author?”
Cali offered up a bashful smile. She hadn’t expected to be quizzed, only to browse and explore but didn’t mind. The woman seemed truly invested in making Cali’s experience pleasurable and she appreciated the attention to her needs. At the moment she simply didn’t know what those needs were. “Not really. I thought maybe I would just explore a little.”
“Well help yourself. If you have any questions, let me know. It’s only me right now but I’ll be more than willing to answer any questions that come up while you’re exploring.”
Cali caught the reference of the woman being the only help present and asked her first question. “Just you?”
“Today, unfortunately, yes. I have someone else on a part-time basis but I need to do more hiring.”
“You’re hiring? Like now?”
“I am. Are you interested?”
Cali had a no resting on the tip of her tongue but something caused her to hesitate. This had to be the universe’s way of gently nudging her back into society. She had just mentioned to Conner the desire to get a job and this place needed help. The environment also was relaxed and Cali felt it wouldn’t be overwhelming. Not too structured from what Cali could sense. In her mind that meant a place to exist and be. She needed that.
