AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Cali glanced at her sister and Conner added. “But you have to promise not to get mad.”
“I can’t promise you that but ask me whatever you want. You already know everything. It’s not like I have anything to hide at this point. I slept with Merritt and now I’m sleeping with his cousin. Like I’m some game, a challenge to conquer.”
“Is that what you really believe?”
No.
“I don’t know what I believe. I don’t know what about us is real. What if this was all about him…”
Merritt.
Cali knew how he felt. He was always expressing how different she was, how special, how much he didn’t deserve to be in her life, to have her time, her love, her body. What if he said those things to War and he had to see for himself. The thought made her sick to her stomach.
“What if it wasn’t? He knew about you, but you always said Merritt was protective of the relationship he had with you. Maybe War knew who you were, but that doesn’t mean this was a game or that he knew the details of what you had with Merritt. It’s possible that what’s between the two of you is about his connection, what he sees, what he feels, what he wants, and doesn’t have anything to do with Merritt.”
“But what if it’s not. It’s complicated. It’s fucking twisted. Can you imagine what people will think…”
“People…” Conner barked a laugh. “First of all, fuck people. The only thing that matters is what you think. And what people are you talking about anyway, Cali? His people? Because who the fuck are Merritt’s people? You never met them and I’m sure that was intentional. He had other women?—”
Cali glared at Conner with a warning but Conner rolled her eyes. “I don’t know for sure, but I really feel like he did. He put you in this apartment, paid all the bills, kept you a secret from everything else in his life. Shit, you never met War and that’s his cousin. Who the fuck cares what people will think. They probably don’t know you exist.”
Conner made a valuable point but…
“He knew and didn’t tell me.”
“Back to what I was going to ask…” Conner eyed Cali cautiously before she delivered the question. “Would it have changed how you feel about War if he had been up front?”
“Yes, because I wouldn’t have dealt with him.”
“And you would have missed out on something great.”
“He’s Merritt’s cousin. What if what I feel for him is an illusion or an extension of what I felt for Merritt?”
Cali never denied their similarities nor would she deny how familiar War felt. So familiar she easily trusted her feelings for him.
“The situation is fucked up, really fucked up, but can you honestly say what you feel when it comes to War is about Merritt?”
For the past hour, Cali had asked herself the exact same question and the answer was no. Things with War were different. The connection she felt was new and very real. He wasn’t Merritt. Where Merritt was selfish and all consuming, War was thoughtful, intentional, and considerate of Cali’s needs. As much as she felt Merritt’s love and no matter how good he was, Cali would never deny that he was selfish with her heart.
War had the ability to be just as selfish as Merritt. She felt the intensity layered in him, but War was mature enough to let Cali exist in his world, as much as he wanted to exist in hers. He was thoughtful enough to give as much as he took. The two men were similar but not the same.
Sometimes it took experiencing a contrast to see people and situations more clearly. She loved Merritt, and he loved her, but it was wild, abandoned, and reckless, the opposite of what she was learning that War would bring to her life.
“Cali…” Conner spoke softly and when their eyes met, Conner smiled.
“Your heart chooses, everything else follows. There’s not much you can do to change the course of what the universe has planned for you.”
“He lied to me.”
“Maybe his heart chose too and his mind had to follow. It’s possible he was scared to tell you because he knew you would shut him down. Sometimes you lie to protect people.”
“That’s not fair.”
“Life isn’t fair. Isn’t that what you’re always telling me?”
Cali rolled her eyes and exhaled a sigh. “I don’t want to talk about War right now. What happened with you? Why did Maurice come back? What makes this time different?”
Conner blinked several times before she pulled her knees in tighter. “On the way home, after you called, he looked at me and said if the only way we could have peace was to get rid of you, he would put a bullet in your head and never think twice about it. I’m used to him saying crazy things to me but this time, he didn’t threaten me, Cali. He threatened you. I just…” She closed her eyes briefly. “I would never let that happen. It scared me. I needed to end things. I’ve known for a long time but you were right, he made me feel like what little love he gave was enough. It’s not and what he said about you…”
