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“Yes, it’s good. I’ve been trying to get her here for a while but she refused. Showing up is progress.”
Cali lifted her eyes just as Conner returned from the bathroom. “We’re about to go in, can I call you when I’m done?”
“Yeah do that ’cause I have somewhere to be tonight and I want you to go with me.”
“Somewhere…” When Dr. K surfaced in the doorway saying goodbye to the client she had before them, Cali stood and motioned to the door so Conner would go ahead. Instead, Conner leaned in close to Cali, inserting herself into her sister’s business.
“She’ll have to call you back, War. It’s time for us to let this woman tell us just how fucked up we really are.”
“Conner.” Cali shot her a hard glare but she shrugged and disappeared into Dr. K’s office.
“Go do your thing, hit me up when you’re done.”
“I will.”
She ended the call and groaned before heading inside, taking a seat next to Conner. Dr. K followed, taking a seat across from the sisters after closing them in her office.
“Conner, correct?” Dr. K smiled at Conner who nodded.
“Yep, that’s me.”
“I’m glad that you’ve joined us today. Your sister has been anxious to get you here.” Cali felt Conner’s eyes burning a hole in the side of her face and when she turned her warm browns narrowed.
“What did you tell her?”
“Nothing really about you. Mostly stuff about me and by default that means I sometimes talk about situations that involve you.”
“Then what’s the point of me being here? She already has her mind made up about who and what I am.” Conner glared at her sister then glanced at Dr. K.
“You’re wrong, Conner. I don’t have an opinion about who or what you are. I do know some things about you, by default like your sister stated, but the only information I will ever use to help you work through whatever it is you want to discuss is what you’re willing to personally share with me. That’s how this works. Are you willing to share with me today?”
Conner glared at her sister while her knee bounced nervously. Cali sensed she was uneasy so she grabbed her sister’s hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.
“I’ll go first and you can listen. If you decide you don’t want to share, then you don’t have to. You’re here, that’s a huge step. I want you to come back and maybe even come on your own so we can do this however you want, okay?” Cali smiled at her sister. Conner relaxed and nodded.
For the next hour, Cali expressed feelings about the progress she was making lately. She discussed how things were going at Mahogany, her relationship with War, and when Dr. K asked if she still felt comfortable and confident with how things were progressing with War, Cali paused thoughtfully to truly consider her answer before she gave one.
“Things are moving fast. Faster than I feel comfortable with but only because I have moments where I don’t trust myself.”
“Why don’t you trust yourself?” Dr. K asked in an even, neutral tone.
“Sometimes I wonder if I’m having the same dependency with War that I had with Merritt.” Cali cautiously glanced to her side when she felt Conner’s eyes warming the side of her face. They talked but Cali hadn’t been completely honest about all her fears and concerns about her relationship with War.
“Is it the same?” Dr. K asked, voice still neutral, not offering any indication of how she felt on the matter.
Cali shook her head. “It’s not.”
“How do you know?” Conner said quietly and Cali’s eyes turned to her sister.
“Because it feels different. With Merritt, I jumped. With War, I’m falling. Being with Merritt felt like chasing a high and being with War feels like learning how to cope so I don’t have to. I need him but in a different way than I needed Merritt. It’s hard to explain.”
“You did a beautiful job of explaining, Cali.” Dr. K smiled softly. “You’re learning how to recognize healthy and unhealthy attachments. That’s a great accomplishment. I’m proud of you.”
“How do you do that?” Conner’s eyes darted between her sister and Dr. K but they settled on Dr. K, so she responded.
“How do you do what, Conner?”
“Know how to recognize the difference between healthy and unhealthy attachments,” she said quietly before adding, “Maurice was an unhealthy attachment but it took me a while to see that. I don’t want to do the same thing again when I meet someone else and I know I have to work on myself before I should even consider doing so but one day I want to and I want to be able to know the difference.”
