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Callan comes back out, his bag in hand. I walk with him to the lobby where a car is already waiting. He pulls me close to him, kisses me one more time, and then he’s gone. I stand and watch the taillights fade away. I turn, smile at the staff, then quickly make my way back to our cabin. It’s so empty with him gone.
My first tears fall as I sit back on the chair I’ve loved so much in our time here. I’m not sure how long I sit here, but eventually I move inside and crawl into bed. I need to shake this feeling of hopelessness away. It’s not over, not yet, at least. We’re just on pause while he conducts business.
I eventually fall asleep and wake up feeling tired for the first time since arriving in Hawaii. I pack my bags, then head to the airport. It’s all a blur as I board the plane, sitting in first class. I barely speak. Now that the trip is over, I want to get home to be with my besties so I zone out until the plane lands.
After collecting my luggage, I let out a sigh of relief when Jess and Emily find me, and the sounds of the airport fade into the background as they lead me to their car, their concerned faces making me want to cry all over again. I guess I look worse than I realized. I’m the one who always smiles, so it’s most likely worrying them that I have tears in my eyes.
We make small talk as we drive, but it’s pretty clear I don’t want to have a deep conversation in the vehicle so they play music instead. We arrive home an hour later and they follow me into my small house that’s always brought me comfort. It just feels lonely now.
“Okay, we’ve waited, now spill,” Jess says as Emily moves into the kitchen and grabs a bottle of wine. She pours three glasses, then moves to the living room and hands two out.
“Yesterday when we talked you seemed like you were on top of the world, now you’re back without Callan and look as if you’re heartbroken,” Emily gently says.
I let out a long sigh before I take a big gulp of wine. I’m struggling to find words. “Nothing happened to us. Callan got called away on a work emergency.”
“Then why do you look like you’re fighting tears?” Jess asks.
“I don’t know. We were in paradise together, then it suddenly ended. I’m afraid it’s going to fade away now.”
“And you don’t want it to end?” Emily confirms.
I shake my head. “I think I’ve really fallen for him.” They both beam at me.
“That’s not a bad thing,” Jess assures me.
“We’re from two different worlds. I shouldn’t fall for him, but I think it’s happened.” I stop and look at them, needing their advice. “Do you think it’s possible to fall in love with someone in only two weeks? I used to laugh at such a notion, but I might be in love with him. I’ve never been in love before, so I don’t know.” I’m so damn confused and I hate it.
Jess chuckles, and Emily beams. “It’s more than possible. I think you can fall in love in a single day. That doesn’t mean you’ll stay in love, but falling is the easy part. Staying in love is where it becomes complicated,” Emily says.
“From all you’ve shared with us, it sounds like you aren’t from such different worlds. Sure, he’s from Seattle but that’s geography. You’ve had fun with him, Sash, and he seems like a good guy,” Jess says.
I give a watery smile as I think about our week together in Hawaii. “It was like nothing in the world could go wrong while in Hawaii. We laughed, shared, and made love so much I may walk funny for weeks. It was perfect. I’m scared though. It feels like our story got interrupted right in the middle of the good part.”
Jess reaches over and takes my hand, understanding in her eyes. “Sometimes there’s a dramatic pause in the middle of the story. Who wants boring and predictable? No one reads that. If life was easy, it wouldn’t be a challenge, and that’s no fun.”
“I wouldn’t mind a little boring and predictable,” I tell them.
They both laugh. “That’s not true. You’d spit Callan out like a rotten tomato if that was the case with him. You want adventure and for someone to push you. I think he gives that to you. Just give it some time,” Emily says.
“You never know what the future holds,” Jess says. “If this is real, no amount of distance can keep you apart.”
I feel better as my friends reassure me. Maybe they’re right, maybe this is simply a pause in the middle of our story. It could all work out. But even if it doesn’t, I’ll be okay. I wouldn’t change any of what’s happened in the past two weeks. It might be painful now, but it’s been an adventure I wouldn’t trade for anything in the world.
We stay up late; talking to my friends and drinking a lot of wine makes my worries fade into the night. I’m home, right where I’ve always been safest, with the people who love me and who I love more than anything else on this planet. It really will be okay... I think.
One day turns into another as my life returns to my old boring routine in Seaville. Soon an entire week passes. What once brought me so much joy no longer brings a smile to my face. Damn, Callan.
I pick up a few side jobs, but no matter how much I throw myself into the tasks, I can’t seem to find me anymore. It’s as if everything has dimmed without Callan at my side. Have I gotten so attached to him after only two weeks that I can’t find happiness without him? That’s unacceptable. It doesn’t matter how much I lecture myself though, because a sense of emptiness has overtaken my soul.
Callan’s absence weighs heavily on my mind and heart. He’s calling me. The first few days it was often, but these past few days not so much, and he seems distracted when we talk, leaving me to wonder if he’s pulling away and doesn’t want to tell me that our fling is over. He’s never promised me the world. Heck, we aren’t even in an official relationship. He doesn’t owe me anything. It still hurts though.
It might be my imagination, but when we talk now, I feel like he’s holding back. We’re thousands of miles apart, in two different worlds, just as I’ve feared. He’s a corporate giant, and I’m more of a hippie living for the moment. Maybe I need to accept that we aren’t meant to be.
I try to convince myself I’ve lived a long time without him, and I’ll be fine with him gone, but that’s easier said than done. I’ve fallen for him, fallen in love with him, and distance isn’t making the heart grow fonder, it’s shattering it into a million pieces.
I’m a fool. I told myself not to fall in love, but the heart wants what it wants, and now I have to pay the price for my foolishness. I’ll be okay, it’s just going to take some time. I won’t make a foolish mistake like this again. The pain isn’t worth it. Each night I fall asleep, telling myself it will be better in the morning. One of these mornings it will truly be better. But I’m not there quite yet.
Chapter Twenty-One
