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Chapter Thirty
Callan
A constant state of misery has clung to me like a stubborn shadow for days. I need to leave this town. Sasha’s never going to talk to me again and this angers me. We built something together and at the first sign of trouble she runs away. Maybe we didn’t have what I thought we had. If our trust is this easily broken, maybe I don’t matter to her as much as she matters to me.
Damn this town, this resort, this game I was sent to play. Damn Gramps and all of this. I don’t need it in my life. I can’t stand being this miserable. Why in the hell would anyone want to fall in love when it leads to such misery? It’s absurd. I don’t need this in my life. Even knowing all of this though, I can’t force myself to leave. Instead, I’m hiding in this stupid small hotel, pacing my room like a caged tiger.
I wish I could talk myself into leaving, but so far, it’s not happening. I sit down and pour myself a bourbon when my phone rings.
“Callan, there’s an emergency at the building site. You’re needed right away,” the man says before he hangs up the phone, not giving me any further explanation. I let out a heavy sigh as I set my drink aside.
This right here shows how far into misery I’ve fallen. I don’t even care that there’s an emergency. Hell, at this point I don’t care if the entire project falls apart. I’ve never felt this way about any of my other projects. This damn woman has done this to me, and I don’t like it one little bit.
I still have to show up or they’ll keep calling me. I put on my jacket and leave my room. I’m not in a hurry to get there and decide to walk. The cool night air will do my muddled thoughts some good. It doesn’t rain much here so the stars are always bright when I take walks in the evenings. I love this about Seaville. I’ve always loved Seattle, but it does get awfully bleary in the winter. It doesn’t in Seaville. I even thought for a minute or two that I could live here. That’s now out the window.
I arrive at the resort quickly and don’t see anything wrong. I’m confused as I look around. There are no vehicles anywhere. The crew seems to have left for the day. Has this all been a joke? A bit of anger fills me. I’d rather feel anger than despair. It’s a much easier emotion to deal with. I make my way through the resort and see a light through the trees.
I head in that direction, but I’m stopped in my tracks at what I see. In the exact place I set up a tent over a month earlier a new tent is up, lights adorning it. My heart races as I approach. I cautiously move forward and step inside. My breath seizes as I see Sasha standing in front of a set table, candlelight flickering. The glow illuminates her features, casting an ethereal radiance on her.
My heart beats faster as I take in the much-needed sight of her. It doesn’t matter how much I tell myself I don’t need her. That’s all out the window at the first sight of her. This woman has dug herself into my heart, and I don’t think there’s any going back. She has tears in her eyes as she gazes at me.
“What is this, Sasha?” I ask, my voice soft, disbelief coloring my tone.
“I... I need to talk to you. I... I messed up,” she says, her voice trembling, uncertainty written all over her.
“We’ve both messed up,” I tell her. “I didn’t have sex with Lily.” I stop and shake my head. “I don’t think I did. I was passed out,” I admit. I never want to lie to her. I can honestly say I didn’t have consensual sex, but most of that night is black. I don’t think I’ll ever get my memory back.
“I know what happened, Callan. I talked to a lot of people. When the hurt and shock wore off, I realized you wouldn’t do that to me. I’m sorry it took me so many days to figure it out. Everyone agrees you must’ve been drugged. I’m so sorry that happened to you. I’m sorry I turned away from you. I should’ve kicked that woman’s ass and called an ambulance. Instead I walked away and left you with that monster. I hope you can forgive me,” she says, her voice shaking, her eyes spilling over.
All of the emotions I’ve been feeling these past few days spill over as I close the space between us and pull her against me.
“You have nothing to feel bad about, Sasha. I can’t imagine how that looked to you. Lily’s a very good actress and you were in shock. We seem like we’d never be able to make things work, but we do. We’re perfect together. We both made assumptions so how about we forgive ourselves and move forward?”
She looks up at me with watery eyes and the love I feel for her spills over. I don’t want to go another single night without this woman in my life. It took a lot of courage for her to do this and it makes me love her that much more.
“I’m scared to death, Callan. I love you. I love you so much that the thought of not being with you rips open my heart. I was hurt because I believed it wasn’t possible for you to love me, not when you have women like Lily in your life who are perfect,” she says as she buries her head against my chest.
My heart swells with these words. I hold her even tighter. “Never think a woman like Lily is better than you. She doesn’t hold a candle to you.” I pull her chin up so she can see into my eyes, see the truth of my words. She stares at me, her heart in her eyes.
Our words hang in the air between us as all of the rest of my worries evaporate. It’s all going to be okay. We’re going to navigate this world together. I don’t know if it was Gramp’s game. I don’t know if fate stepped in, but somehow I found this woman, and I’m getting a happily ever after that I’ll never throw away. The walls I tried keeping around my heart crumble away and awe fills me. This is where I belong.
“I love you, Sasha, with all of my heart and soul.”
Slowly her lips turn up as we gaze at each other, love shining in our eyes. It’s been an adventure from the moment we met, and of course we’ve had to face some obstacles along the way, but I have no doubt it’s all going to be okay now.
“As long as I have you in my arms everything in the world is right,” I tell her. This admission hangs between us, a fragile thread binding us together. We both know it’s going to be okay, that we can make it through anything as long as we do it together. “I want to make this work. It won’t be easy, but please know I’ll never cheat and I won’t lie to you, not ever, even if the truth can sometimes be hard.”
Sasha’s lips turn up, her eyes shining with more tears. “I want this too, more than you know. I’ve loved you for a long time now, but I was so afraid of telling you, afraid our relationship was too fragile for the words.”
“That’s my fault. I’m sorry. I’ve never been in love before and it’s taken me a while to figure out what was happening. I tried telling myself I could go. I was wrong. Walking up here, seeing you wearing your heart on your sleeve, is the most beautiful sight I’ve ever witnessed. Thank you for having faith in me. Thank you for trusting me.”
She hugs me tight, more tears falling. I’m having to fight my own from spilling over. This woman has changed me in ways I didn’t think possible. I don’t care that it’s happening. She pulls back, wipes her cheeks, then beams at me.
“I love it here, Callan, but I’m willing to spend time with you in Seattle as well,” she says. My heart bursts wide open.
“I don’t know what I’ve done in my life to deserve you, but I’m not going to list all of my faults and wake you up. Seaville has become my home in a short time. I love it here. We’ll have to go to Seattle from time to time, but I want to take you all over the world. I want to show you new and beautiful things, and I want to be right here in your beloved town when we’re old and grey.”
I’m shocked at how much I mean these words. I’m positively going to propose to this woman. I need to make her my wife. I’ll wait, give her time to adjust to us living together, but there’s no doubt in my mind I’m going to make her mine for all of time and eternity.
