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Mason frowned. “I can’t tell if you’re upset or not.”
“Of course I’m not upset,” she hurried to say, placing a calming hand in the center of his chest. “I’m just...wow, do you really mean it?”
In answer, he rolled onto his side and opened his nightstand drawer. Pushing a neat stack of books and the case for his glasses aside, he picked up a thin, rectangular box, then sat up against the headboard.
“Maybe this will convince you how serious I am,” he said softly, opening the box and holding it out for her. “I ordered this while we were in New Mexico.”
Inside, a gold collar sat nestled against the black velvet lining—five thin chains attached to a large golden O ring. The chains were the perfect length for the ring to rest securely against the base of her throat.
Addison stopped breathing again.
“It was our second night there. I couldn’t sleep, and it took me until almost dawn to figure out why.”
Running a single fingertip along the length of one gleaming chain, she whispered, “What was the reason?”
“Because I’d fallen in love with you. I’d never been in love before, and I had no idea what I should feel or what should come next.” Removing the collar from the box, he undid the clasp and held it up, suspended between both hands. “It wasn’t until I ordered this that I finally fell asleep.”
Addison looped a finger through the ring on her leather collar, still buckled around her neck. “Is that”—she nodded toward the gold collar—“like Olivia’s?”
“Do you mean, would I want you to wear it all the time, not just when we’re here?”
When she tried to answer, no words came out, so she nodded instead.
“I would like that,” he admitted, his voice softer than intended. “Very much. That’s something we need to decide together, though. If that’s not something you want yet, or even ever, I’ll understand.”
She held out her hand, and he draped the new collar over her palm, letting the ends dangle off the sides. “It’s lighter than I expected,” she said, still whispering. “It’s so beautiful, Mason.”
“As incredible as you look in leather, the gold will be stunning on you. It’ll bring out the gold in your hair, and the flecks in your eyes.” Wrapping a hand gently around her throat, he pressed just hard enough to make her breath catch. “It suits you better. You deserve something as classy and beautiful as you are.”
Addison drew in short, sharp breaths as his hand tightened, but didn’t even try to pull away.
“Tell me what you’re thinking,” he said, not quite a command, but with his hand partially cutting off her air, not exactly a request either.
“I’m remembering how shocked I was when Olivia told me her collar is permanent.” Her voice came out as a delectable rasp. “That only Aiden knows where the key is. I couldn’t imagine wanting that. Being brave enough to let people judge me.”
Every bit of lust and excitement left him in an instant. “Oh,” he said, letting his hand fall to his lap. “I—I didn’t realize. I can?—”
He started to reach for the golden collar, not wanting to look at it anymore, desperate to get it out of his sight. But her hand fisted around it.
Mason stared at her hand for several seconds, uncomprehending. Then he dragged his gaze up to meet hers.
“I used to be afraid of what people thought of me. Afraid that if I let them in all the way—if they saw the real me, with the flaws and the fucked-up childhood and the fears and the kink and all the rough, jagged pieces—they wouldn’t want anything to do with me. So I filed myself down as smooth as I could, and pretended that’s all there was to me. And you know what? It fucking sucked.”
Her lips lifted into a jagged, crooked smile, and he felt the heavy threat of tears at the backs of his eyes. “I know it did,” he said, placing his hand over her fist. “You don’t have to do that anymore.”
“I’m not going to.” It was a declaration. “I refuse. Did I tell you I called Kate on Thursday?”
“Your friend in New York?”
She nodded. “I told her everything. All the secrets I’ve been keeping because I couldn’t stand the thought of losing her.”
“Let me guess,” Mason said with half a smile. “She thinks you’re every bit as wonderful as I do.”
Her laugh made the room seem brighter somehow. “Something like that. I’m going to tell Lola next. I’m done pretending.”
Mason leaned forward, pressing his lips softly against hers. “I’m proud of you, little one. That was an incredibly brave thing to do.”
“I want to wear your collar, Mason. I want everyone to know I’m yours.” Her hand shook as she unfurled her fingers and held out the gold chains. With a slight tremor in her voice, she added, “I don’t ever want to feel like I’m alone again, even for a second.”
