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“Forgive me for being ignorant, but you didn’t exactly know about the other little situation, and you indeed did fuck her.”
Hawk’s jaw twitched. He was angry, and I would bear the brunt of it, especially if I kept prodding.
“The other situation is none of your concern.”
Say what? None of my concern? Did he... did he just... dismiss me? Again?
“You don’t get to dismiss me twice, Hawk Carnage.”
“I didn’t dismiss you. You walked away, remember?”
The fucking hide...
Rising to my feet, I prepared for battle. “I walked away because you chose Celeste over me. You chose to end what we had. This. Was. All. You.” I was seething and Hawk never flinched.
“You two had a thing?” Ricky asked, dumbfounded.
We both turned to him.
“Yes, and you can shut up about it,” I snapped. “It was a mistake from the start.”
This time, Hawk did flinch. “A mistake? You think what we shared was a mistake?”
“Yeah, I do,” I lied, fearful the emotions would take charge. I didn’t want to cry in front of him. “You made a decision that affected both of us, and you didn’t care how badly it hurt me.”
“What about how it hurt me?”
I scoffed at this. “You did it without a second thought, Hawk. So please don’t insult my intelligence by telling me otherwise. You’ve got yourself an instant family, and you practically jumped at it.”
He took two steps forward until we were arm’s length apart, the vein in his neck working overtime. “I don’t want an instant family with Celeste. I want to start a family with you, Britta. I wanted my future with you.”
This confession threw me for a six. I knew what I’d wanted out of the relationship, but Hawk had been the one who called it for what it was, ‘friends with benefits.’
My eyes started to sting with tears, a large lump forming in my throat. “You wanted to start a family with me?” I whispered.
“I still want that.”
“You’re an asshole.”
A smile twitched his lips, and my heart caved. “You can call me any name you like... in bed.”
“Ohhh okay...” Harry erupted. “We don’t need to listen to your sex talk.”
“Fuck, bro,” Ricky started, shaking his head in disbelief. “We’re still trying to get used to the idea of you two, so tone it down a notch.”
I giggled, embarrassed members of my family had to hear that, and giddy to have Hawk flirt with me once more.
He pulled me in close, wrapping his muscled arms around my body and holding me tight. I started to cry against his chest, and it wouldn’t stop.
Hawk whispered in my ear, attempting to soothe my sore heart, “Babe,” he began speaking so only I could hear. “I’m sorry for everything,” he continued to repeat the words until they began to sink in and I believed them.Chapter 22Britta“I need your help.”
They were four words that set my soul at unease. I’d never seen this side of Hawk. He was tired. Worried. And above all else, scared shitless.
And I didn’t blame him.
We sat in Slate’s bedroom with the door closed, and I allowed him to confide in me. There were a lot of unanswered questions, and to be honest, Hawk was in a lot of shit.
I listened as he started from the beginning.
Celeste.
“She was only a fling that lasted a few nights. And she only became a fling because I knew she was flying out.” Hawk looked me dead in the eyes. “I don’t love her, Britta. I never will. This baby...” he exhaled heavily, “... it was the last thing I expected. What I expected was to have children with you.”
“Hawk, I never knew you felt like that. I thought we were just ‘friends with benefits.’”
“I said that so I didn’t scare you off. You were still scarred from Roman, I didn’t want to rush you into anything. But just know... it was always all or nothing for me.”
I nodded, biting my lip because if I didn’t, the tears would spill once more.
“When I found out Celeste was pregnant with my child, the first thing I knew I had to do was provide a safe and loving home for the baby. And in my head, I thought that entailed having to marry Celeste. I wasn’t thinking straight. Just because I marry Celeste doesn’t mean it would be a happy union. I guess I also feared you wouldn’t want anything else to do with me if I had a child with some other woman, so it was more like a defense mechanism.” Hawk took my hand in his and worked gentle circles with his thumb. “I see how I hurt you, and these last few days I’ve done nothing but think about you. Above all this shit, you were always my number one thought.”
“Me too,” I confessed. “Do you still think Celeste is telling the truth?”
