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“Yeah,” he says, his fingers counting against his thumb as he watches me. “You’re just going to go for it?”
“Yep, just going to go for it.”
CHAPTER 10
I push the power button and there’s a low hum as it boots up. The screen goes black and a dialogue box appears, one of those old school black screens with a blinking green cursor. I hit enter. It types out a message, “Please enter the first three fingerprints of each hand beginning with the left thumb.”
As I press my fingers on the little power button that doubles as a fingerprint scanner, creeping thoughts of dread enter my brain. What if this is a bomb? What if this is all part of a scheme that’s actually for evil, not justice?
But I go forward with it. I’m committed now. Once it’s scanned the required prints, the black dialogue box goes away and a white screen appears. Nothing else changes after that. Just a bright white screen.
“What’s happening now?” I ask Everett, pivoting the laptop so he can see it too.
“My guess? Someone’s been notified and is now setting up a meeting location and time.”
“The right person, right?”
Everett shrugs as if it’s anyone’s guess and his lack of surety makes me nervous. “We might be waiting a while, but don’t close it.”
I scan the room for a safe place to set the laptop down and seeing the gun with the silencer on the side table reminds me we’re not in normal life by a long shot. I make room on the opposite side table and angle the laptop towards the wall so the bright screen isn’t blinding us, but I can see if something changes.
I’m about to start the movie when Everett puts his hand over mine. “Maybe we should talk about me leaving, about why I’m leaving.”
The temperature in the room seems to dip another ten degrees as icy fear settles in my stomach. I don’t want to talk about it out loud, as an actual event that will actually happen.
“How about after the movie? Or tomorrow?” I say, suddenly eager to avoid this conversation for as long as possible. Denial is my strategy and fear is fueling it.
“Laina.”
“You told me at the airport,” I remind him. “It’s what’s best for you and your career.”
“And you believed that?” he asks. “Let me clarify-”
“Look, this is supposed to be our fun movie night,” I emphasize. “It’s already been interrupted once, let’s get back to making a good memory.”
I hit play and a palpable blockade goes up between us. It’s cowardly, I know, but I’m afraid that one badly-worded sentence, one truth that touches a nerve, will throw our entire relationship haywire. We’ll have the conversation and see what follows, but I want something happy and just for us before that happens.
We finish the movie on our own sides of the couch, the playfulness gone. Everett wordlessly gets up and goes to the kitchen and I don’t follow. After a while, he comes back with two plates full of grilled cheese.
“The Pelican Brief?” He asks and I put it on. We don’t interact any more than that.
Tears sting my eyes when the end credits roll. It’s dark outside now and there hasn’t been any messages. Everett is quiet and in his own world of thought.
That was it, our one “fun” movie night, never to be repeated. Before a few days ago, I never considered the possibility of a life without Everett, and now it’s haunting me with its emptiness. I should have been braver, should have been more honest with him, with myself.
I reach over to make sure he’s still there and my hand settles on his, resting on a pillow between us. I lace my fingers through his and squeeze, unable to hold back a sniffle.
“I’m a little scared of the future. I’m really going to miss you. And a tiny part of me feels like you’re abandoning me.”
In one swift movement, Everett scoops me up onto his lap. He hugs me to him, his arms tight around my waist. I wrap my arms around his head and neck and hug him back.
“Laina,” he whispers, heartbreak in his voice. “The few days you were gone, it was like half of me was missing. Leaving you is the last thing I want to do.”
I take his face in my hands and press my forehead to his. Maybe I misjudged this, maybe this conversation about him leaving is exactly the one we need to have. I gather my courage.
“I don’t know how to be without you,” I whisper. He inhales sharply and his hands tighten at my sides.
The explosive sound of breaking glass echoes through the house. I freeze in his arms, clinging tightly to his neck like a terrified child.
