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He takes a second to answer. “I guess I can travel a bit, see some places I haven’t been to yet.”
“Is it really going to be good for your career?”
“Yeah, it’s more on the diplomatic protection side, working with people who negotiate different agreements and do international mediation. The more experience I gain, the higher I can set my contract prices. But that’s not why I’m doing it.”
What are his contract prices? How does he get paid? I want to know everything about him, about every little way his mind works, about his job, what drives him. I want to know about everything he wants in life. I need more time with him, but it’s as elusive as sand dropping down the hourglass.
“What’s the end goal? To make more money?”
He shakes his head. “No, not just that. More like, peace, financial security. Be able to provide for a family, some kids. Make enough to retire at an age where I can still enjoy life.”
“Do you get scared?”
“Sometimes, especially when it’s personal. You know, you’re my first close protection assignment ever. Normally, I’m running logistics for political summits and high-profile events, which is much more my thing.”
I smile, thrilled that I’m special and unique for that reason. “Why did you take my assignment?”
“Boss - his name is Gideon, but we just call him Boss - he noticed I was in a slump at work. I felt unfulfilled and useless. I was probably a little depressed. Then out of nowhere, Boss told me the agency got assigned a short-notice contract and he needed me to fill it, didn’t really give me a choice. I flew up from D.C. and met you in the living room like twelve hours later.”
My eyes fill with tears as my heart swells with growing courage. “I remember the first minutes of that hour, when no one else would look at me except you. And you made me spaghetti that night.”
He nods. “That first time I saw you, you looked right at me and even in that awful moment you were so beautiful. And then we started working together, finding our rhythm, and you weren’t uptight or prissy. You listened to me. You acknowledged me. You were everything I had been missing. Still are.”
We smile at each other with sadness and nostalgia, but the longer we look into each other’s eyes, the more the feelings I have for him grow and expand until I feel like I can’t breathe because of how much I love him.
How do we go on from this? How do we go from sharing such deep memories with one another, from living a fast-paced, slightly traumatic lifestyle together to not being in each others’ lives anymore? How do we stop doing this, stop igniting fires with our eyes when we look at each other? How am I supposed to give that up?
I take his hand and lace my fingers through his and study the way we fit together like two halves of a whole.
“Why would you decide to leave me?” I ask, finally ready to know the truth.
Everett takes a shaky breath, clinging to my hand for dear life. “You are the most amazing woman I’ve ever met. You’re beautiful and smart and you’re driven, motivated. You know what you want and you go after it, but you’re also kind and caring. You make me excited to wake up every day, just to see how you see the world, to hear the thoughts you have. I love being your friend. But I’ll always, always want to be more than your friend. I love you. My heart is yours, Laina Milenna.”
I gasp, my eyes flying to his.
“You never…I never thought-” I say, looking for the right words to respond with but coming up with nothing logical.
I never thought being loved in return was an option. My heart is beating a rhythm of ecstasy, making it hard to think. I knew there were feelings, interest, desire. There was genuine care and definitely chemistry. But love? I didn’t dare wish for love.
He smiles sheepishly. “I’m the poster boy for being stupidly in love. Every morning, I would start with the hope that maybe one day you would look at me differently too. And every night, I would go to bed with frustration and disappointment. I wondered if you would ever feel the way I did and the more time passed, the more it became clear that I would be nothing more to you than your bodyguard and sure, a form of a friend. I was hurting, every day. So I made the impossible choice to move on, request a new assignment.”
“Everett,” I exhale and I’m smiling wider than I ever have in my life, looking into his gorgeous dark eyes. I want to laugh, I want to cry. Why couldn’t we have figured all this out sooner?
“Why are you laughing?” he says, with a stormy frown.
I take his face in my hands. “Because I never, ever want to be just your friend, Everett Park. I want so much more.”
His eyes widen. “Don’t say that just because I said it.”
“I’m not, I promise. I care about nothing and no one more than I care about you.” I pull his hand to my lips and kiss it. He stands up, tall and looming over me and I wrap my arms around his waist. Sitting on the barstool puts me at the perfect height to rest my head near his heart. I close my eyes, soaking in the sound of his heartbeat, the rise and fall of his chest, the way his hand wraps around my head and presses me to him.
“I want this forever. I never want to let you go,” I say softly, pressing a kiss to his chest. I’m content to listen to the rapid thump of his heart.
I hear a dial tone. My eyes fly open. The sight of Everett looking down at me with a small smile makes me weak as love surges through every vein. He’s holding his phone on speaker between us and the caller ID says he’s calling a lawyer’s office. He drops a kiss to my hair as we wait for them to pick up.
“Offices of Livel and Voeller.”
Everett introduces himself and explains why he’s calling. They place him on hold and I squeeze my arms around his waist, hugging him tight.
