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The side with a…tail.
I swallowed. And with one last glance at my sleeping friends, I dove into the water, knowing they would be safer with Bellamy than with me. I couldn’t leave Milo. I wouldn’t believe he was gone until I saw it with my own eyes.
In the darkness I shuddered at the depth beneath me. I couldn’t see through the black depths, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to. I knew it wasn’t enough just to be in the water. Nothing had activated a transformation in me the entire time we were floating about hours earlier. But I didn’t know what else to do. The only time I’d changed, I was at the bottom of the ocean. Maybe I needed to dive deeper to take on the form of myself I was sure had taken over that night I jumped overboard from the Siren.
Instinctively, I drew a breath and swam downward into pitch blackness. Some part of me wanted to scream and scramble back to the boat, while another wanted to swim deeper, giving myself fully to the call of the depths. The sea around me terrified me with its mystery and nourished me with its embrace all at once. But nothing happened. I still had legs and I knew I couldn’t swim across the ocean like this.
A panic swept over me as I realized this plan may not be working like I anticipated. I quickly swam upward to think more, only to come up short. I dipped back under the water, releasing my air in a string of bubbles from my nose. Sinking like a rock, I looked upward. Even the moonlight was too weak to break through the water’s thick surface. So, I kept my gaze focused on the heavens I had no choice but to imagine, just knowing the sky was somewhere up above me. My lungs burned and my heart raced with fear. It wasn’t working. I wasn’t changing.
As the breath I was holding diminished, and my lungs begged me for oxygen, I started to regret this experiment. I quickly kicked my legs out and swam as fast as humanly possible upward. But I had sunk too far. I couldn’t get to the surface fast enough.
My head grew heavy as crushing darkness closed in around me. I thought this was what I wanted, but now that it was happening, I was stricken with fear. The horror of the nothing below me wrapped around me like a smothering cloak. And I wanted out.
A shadow approached, and I flinched. Here, suspended in the shadow of the sea, there was no telling what sort of creatures lurked below. I thrashed, yearning to race upward, but I wasn’t sure which way was up anymore. But something splashed above. I saw a stream of bubbles jet behind a shadow that had just shattered through the water. Just before I blacked out entirely, someone embraced me, and swam upward with me pressed against them. I still retained some senses, but if I knew if I opened my mouth to inhale, as I so desperately wanted to do, I’d be out.
Just when I thought I’d have to succumb to the instinct to breathe, I broke through the water’s surface, wrapped in the arms of a heaving Bellamy.
“The bloody hell are you doing?” He panted, water snaking down the sleek wet locks clinging to his forehead.
“I might ask you the same thing.” I choked. His grip on me tightened, and he pressed me to him in an aggressive manner as he guided us both to the hull of the ship.
“If you can’t learn to watch your footing on this ship, next time I won’t be so chivalrous.”
I nodded, conflicted. My body was grateful that he’d pulled me from that torment, but my mind knew it was only through torment I could become who I needed to be. He’d ruined my only chance at going back to find Milo.
He grabbed a rope hanging from the side of the ship and handed it to me. “Ladies first.” He cocked his head and rolled his eyes, seawater still dripping from his brow.
Reluctantly, I pulled myself up, clambering up to the hull with tired arms. I glanced over and saw that McKenzie and Noah were not where I had left them. Bellamy must have noticed.
“Don’t worry,” he grumbled, stepping onto the deck and walking past me. “They’re safe belowdecks. I offered them separate arrangements when I saw your lady friend was drawing…unnecessary attention. And the boy wanted to go with her.” I breathed a sigh of relief. Bellamy kept his back to me and strode across the deck, watching his own soaked footsteps as though he didn’t trust where they might lead.
“And where are you going now?” I called out.
“Back to my quarters. I didn’t expect to be going for a late-night swim.”
“What were you doing out here anyway?” I asked. No answer. “Bellamy.”
“You are to address me as 'Captain.'”
“You never told me you were a captain.”
Bellamy stopped. “What do you mean? I just met you. And I would think it was obvious regardless.”
“No,” I said softly, not sure why I was telling him this. Maybe I just wanted to see if some part of his soul recognized mine. We never had a proper goodbye. “I think we met before.”
With a sly step, Bellamy turned to face me.
“Trust me, love. I would never have forgotten that pretty face.”
“Fair enough.” I blushed, despite the cool air chilling my wet body. “But I thought your father was captain.”
“You know my father?”
“Sort of,” I shrugged. It then occurred to me that I had no idea what Bellamy knew at this point in history. I didn’t know if he hunted mermaids yet, or if he even knew they existed. And suddenly I realized how dangerous things could have been if he had jumped into the water just a few moments later than he had, if my idea had worked, and he had found me as something…else.
“Captain Valdez,” I uttered, the name sour on my lips. “He’s quite the man so I hear.” I hoped to press him to find out what I could. Maybe knowing when to start was the key to getting back home.
“He’s a good captain. A poor excuse for a father, though.”
