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“Nine, eight…”
I grind the heel of my hand into her clit, making her cry out and tense beneath me.
“Not yet, baby, not yet,” I whisper as she begins to tremble. “Seven, six…” I slam into her, nearly losing it as she bucks back against my cock, taking everything I have to give her. “Five, four…”
“Gideon, oh, Gideon, please. I’m so close, I—”
“Three…”
She whimpers and her breath comes in swift, sharp pants.
“Two…” I bite her shoulder as I push all the way inside her one last time, groaning, “One,” as my cock starts to pulse inside her, my release so intense my vision blurs.
She comes with a keening sound that makes me wish I could keep fucking her forever. I never want to leave this bed, this woman, this sweet little pussy that grips me so tight.
“Good girl,” I whisper into her hair as her breath finally starts to slow.
She shivers and sighs. “Good man,” she whispers, but she sounds…sad.
I pull back, guiding her hair out of her face, troubled to see her eyes shining. “What’s wrong? Was I too rough? Did I hurt you?” I pull out, quickly disposing of the condom in the wastebasket in the corner but returning to the bed to pull Sydney into my arms.
She snuggles into my chest, hugging me tight, easing my worry. “No, it was perfect. So perfect.”
“But,” I prompt after a beat.
“But as much as I want my orgasms to belong to you, as much as I want to see you again…” She lifts her head, gazing down at me with a wisdom far beyond her years. “I can’t do this right now, Gideon. I’m already terrified that I’m going to crash and burn at my new job. If I’m thinking about hurrying home to FaceTime you in bed or daydreaming about the next time we get to be together, my focus won’t be where it needs to be. I honestly don’t think I can juggle both an all-encompassing job and aching for someone I’ll only be able to see once or twice a month, at best.”
She’s right. I know she is, but it doesn’t make it hurt any less. “I understand. I’ve tried long-distance a couple times. It’s really hard, even when you’re not going through a major life change at the same time.”
Her lips turn down. “Yeah. So…you’re not disappointed in me?”
I cup her face, my chest aching for her, this woman who clearly doesn’t realize how precious she is. “I’m disappointed, but not in you. Never in you. You’re incredible, butterfly. You’re sexy and smart and kind and so damned beautiful, inside and out. You’re going to do incredible things with your life. And the man who gets to be yours for longer than a night is going to be one lucky fucker.”
Tears shine in her eyes. “Thanks. And same. I hope you find someone wonderful.” Her lips curve. “And that I never see her face, or I’ll probably hate her a little.”
I smile. “So, I take it we won’t be following each other on social media?”
“I think leaving it here is probably best,” she says. “A clean break and a beautiful memory I will always treasure. Truly. I couldn’t have asked for a better first time.”
“Is it wrong that a tiny part of me hopes I’ve ruined you for lesser men?”
Her eyes glitter. “Not at all. I don’t want a lesser man. I want one as wonderful as you or nothing at all.”
She’s going to be okay. Better than okay. And so will I.
I keep telling myself that as we take the dogs out for a run in the damp grass, wipe them down, and feed them their breakfast. As she reads some of the “how to seduce an older man texts” her friends sent last night while she was already doing just fine in that department upstairs. As we grab bacon, egg, and cheese sandwiches from a deli in town in honor of the puppies and Sydney drives me to the airport.
And as I hug her goodbye one last time outside the terminal.
But I’d be lying if I said walking away from her wasn’t one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.
It’s brutal, and as I touch down in Burlington ten hours later, after successfully delivering the dogs to their new temporary home, I’m still wondering if I’ve made a mistake.
And if Sydney is thinking of me tonight as much as I’m thinking of her.
ten
SYDNEY
