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“Cooper’s ready and waiting to go,” Christopher says, staring down at the floor as he crouches over her, hand hovering over her hip before he pulls the crucifix from Lucy’s pocket. While he holds it up, he murmurs, “Checkmate.”
The more I look around the place, the more I wonder how long they’ve been here. There’s not much I don’t know about the houses on this square. People think I’m insane when it comes to knowing everything that surrounds us, but this only shows that you can never know too much. This place belonged to a billionaire hotelier, last I checked. Now it’s a fucking squalor.
“Take me home,” Georgina whispers. Her voice is so raspy that it’s obvious she’s in pain.
Right now, it doesn’t matter what’s going on inside my head; I only need to be sure that she really is okay. There are still far too many gaps on how any of this happened right under all our noses and no one was any the wiser of it.
Holding her tighter to my chest, I push to my feet. Her slight weight in my arms is a comfort I didn’t know I physically needed to assure me of the moment and the outcome. Georgina burrows her face into my chest as I take the stairs down, allowing Casper to drape a blanket over her. The evening is beginning to purple the sky as we get in the Range, and I buckle her in.
“That house,” she murmurs as Cooper heads for the hospital.
“I know.”
“Not just a pretty face…” Light fingertips trace over my jaw as a trembling smile tugs slightly at her lips.
“It’s not funny.”
“No, but if I don’t smile, I’ll cry…” she sighs, resting her head on my shoulder while hugging my waist. “There’s no energy left for that. My body is sore and my throat…my head—it’s all killing me right now. No more tears, Freddie. I can’t…I really can’t…”
“No more tears, Swan.”
If not for the fact that I can’t bear to see her cry, then because I can’t do this again. I’m not sure whether I’ve caught my breath yet; even with her wrapped in my arm, I’m still waiting for reality to sink in. I’m still trying to catch up with the tide. Today has been the first in so long that the prospect of another day made me want to stop pushing and kicking. Without Georgina, I don’t have anything to carry on fighting for. She’s everything, my entire fucking life. My heart. My soul. My existence.
* * *
Three weeks later…
Unruly curls curtain around me as I open my eyes. The rain patters around us with the scent of wet earth and mossy water lingering in the air.
“We should head back,” she murmurs over my lips, naked body draped over mine. “It’s getting dark, and your grandmother won’t be impressed if we show up to dinner smelling of sex and looking like two heathens from the fields.”
“Emily should be glad we turn up at all.” Given she invited herself along for the week we’re spending at Heavers as a way of working herself back into my good graces. Maybe she didn’t know all the nitty-gritty, but my grandfather confided everything in her.
After all that’s happened, we needed the break from it all. Especially with Benedict being appointed Prime Minister, the press was swarming around us. Something was going to give eventually. It’s why we came down to Heavers after the news of Sarah’s tragic suicide broke. It only seemed fair that she got the same treatment she gave Harry after she stole his funeral rite from him.
Leaving London seemed like the right thing to do. I’m still not comfortable going back to my place. Every time I drive past the other house, I want to burn it down, blow it to fucking pieces. All the fucking memories are enough to haunt me a lifetime without adding the visual reminder to it. Georgina doesn’t need the reminder.
“I know you’re still upset with her, but it’s not her fault.” Georgina sits back onto my thighs, and my chest chases the heat of hers instantly as I push to sit upright.
“She knew what happened with Lucy. They used her and then abandoned her at the word of one fucking traitor. I keep going over it in my head. Staring at it on paper…and wondering if I could’ve done more. Seen something if I wasn’t so…”
“Look at me,” she says sternly, pinching my chin so she can tilt my face down to hers. “In hindsight, maybe we all could’ve seen and done more. Maybe all of this could’ve been avoided and we would all live very different lives right now. Regardless, it doesn’t all fall on your shoulders.”
Brushing the tip of her nose over mine, she smiles as she tips her head to the side. I hear what she’s saying, but I also see the whisper of the bruising on her neck. The yellowed patches on her ribs. Every time I look at her, my fucking heart stutters with the reminder of how different the outcome could’ve been. I could’ve lost the one and only precious thing I’ve ever had over a fucking power play that wasn’t ours.
“You are one man, Frederick Emsworth, you cannot bear the brunt of the lives of all the people we love on your shoulders alone. We all make choices and decisions. Villain or victim, we are responsible for our own actions.” With a firm kiss to my lips, Georgina pushes up to her feet.
My heart lurches at the sight of her body. I wish I could erase the residue of that day off her skin.
“I should never have wandered off with Laura. I knew it wasn’t right—I could feel it, but I chose to shrug it off. I recognised the fucking guy that served me my drink. Still…” She shrugs, grabbing her underwear from the picnic blanket and putting it back on. “That drink was meant for Arabella, and if she’d been the one that was taken, I can’t bring myself to imagine what could’ve happened. I’m relieved that things got twisted the way they did because I had it in me to fight back, but Bella might not have been able to.”
“It shouldn’t have happened full stop. If my grandad and Harry had come to us when they found out Lucy was alive, things could’ve been different.” I get up and start getting myself dressed too as she gets her leggings on. “It could’ve all been avoided.”
“Could’ve, not would’ve. There is no certainty in any of the ifs and maybes. But there is certainty in the lessons we’ve all learned and that’s all you can do so that we don’t make the same mistakes they did. It’s how we become better and stronger, Freddie. Remember? No light without the dark.”
Picking up my top from the floor, Georgina shakes it out before scrunching it in her hands in a way that she can put it on me. When I dip to allow her to do it, she whispers, “You have to keep swimming because I can’t lose you. I won’t.” Threading the collar over my head, she cups my face as I feed my arms into the sleeves and ghosts her lips over mine before pressing a kiss to them. “Keep swimming with me, my lord.”
She makes a very compelling case as her arms wrap around my shoulders. As I stand up straight, her lips peck down my neck to my chest, covering me with her gentle kisses.
