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“You just said you hate him.”
“It’s complicated. We see things differently a lot of the time, and he always makes my life harder than it has to be because of the way he does things. Act first, think later. Remorse and regrets aren’t something he knows. Or at least it wasn’t…not until you. But the fact that he keeps coming back for you even when you walk away…” A light scoff pushes from his lips as he shakes his head down at the flowers. “You’re his worst nightmare because even when you walk away, he can’t let you go. It won’t seem like much to you, especially after the whole thing with Lucy, but he never allows himself to be in a position where he gets left behind. It’s why he’s probably the most dangerous weapon we have. He’ll do anything and everything, even if it’s crazy and a lot of the time potentially fatal. He’ll do it because it makes him irreplaceable. It makes us need him to the point that we can’t abandon him.”
“And yet he won’t tell me he loves me.”
“Maybe I am being a man about this, and Fleur will probably school me on it when you talk to her,” he smirks, giving me that knowing look of his that says he’s aware of Fleur’s and my conversations. “As his friend, I’ll tell you that the fact he keeps chasing you is a sure sign that he cares. More than I’ve ever known him to care for anyone. Even Cassie, and she is a princess to him.”
“Cassie? Why?”
“She’s persistent, a bit like someone else I know.” Giving me a pointed look, he continues. “A man like Freddie needs someone that knows when to hold their ground and when to concede. While at the same time, they have to have the softness it takes to make him feel needed.”
“I do need him. So much, Casper. When he’s near me, there’s this thing inside me that’s so much more than any of the accomplishments I’ve had or the happiness that I feel when I’m on the stage.”
“Joy.”
“Yeah, joy. I have this joy that encompasses everything I’ve ever known. I can breathe and see things in so many different lights. When he looks at me, he sees me, and it makes me shine.” Tears waterlog my eyes, and I’m incapable of swallowing them down because I miss that joy. And the yearning for it is so consuming that I can’t catch my breath no matter what I do. “I know I sound daft, and you’re probably thinking I’m a silly little girl with rose-tinted glasses and—”
“No, I don’t. I think you’re going to be the best thing that’s happened to him. Let’s be honest, you’re going to put up a fight now, and you should. Make him suffer. Make him grovel. Make sure I’m there to witness it because it’s not going to happen ever again. In the end, you’re going to take him back because you’re tenacious, and when you set your sights on something, you don’t let go.”
“Or I’m an idiot.”
“No, for once it’s not about what anyone needs from him. That’s why you got under his skin, because you’ve never asked or demanded anything from him, but he still can’t leave you alone. You’ve become a compulsion, something he truly needs, and I imagine that it’s got him all kinds of fucked up. More than you know.”
The hope that had abandoned me flickers inside me again, and I have to remind myself that the flowers don’t actually mean anything. These flowers won’t give me what I want from him. And maybe it’s why he sent them because he thought they would distract me from the place we’re at. The impasse where we’ve found ourselves.
“I’ll go throw the flowers at his new car. Fucker went and got it just to rub it in my face.”
“You wrecked his car.”
“He was a dick to my baby sister.” He shrugs before ruffling my knotty hair as he gets up from the table and makes to grab the roses.
“Ah-ah! I’ll keep them, thank you!” Batting his hands away, I read the card once more before I pocket it and take out my phone.
“Party pooper.”
“Leave the car alone too,” I tell him as he leaves.
They might be grown men, but they can act like adolescent delinquents when they’re at odds with one another, and I won’t put it past Casper to have at it with Freddie’s new wheels.
“If it wasn’t a McLaren, I’d conveniently forget you told me that.”
“Don’t be a dickhead.”
“Give him hell and I’ll consider your request.” Walking out, he calls back, “Don’t let him off too easy. I have high expectations of your stubbornness.”
There’s no need for him to worry about my stubbornness because I know what I want, and I’m not going to settle for anything less. Unlocking my phone, I text Freddie—
Georgina: They’re pretty. Still not what I asked for.
* * *
There’s a loud knock on the door as I cart my small suitcase and bag downstairs. Before I can even contemplate opening it, Cooper is on it, and I know it’s Jordan the second I hear the low whistle. To him, Casper’s home is a palace that he’s obviously blown away by.
“How the other half lives,” he chuckles, stepping inside and coming straight for me. “You ready to hit the road? They’re expecting us before lunch.”
“Yep, good to go,” I tell him, taking a step back when he comes close enough that I can feel his body heat.
Things have been more awkward than normal since the whole kiss conversation. Something neither of us has brought up since, but it’s obvious that he still thinks about it from the way his eyes gloss over my lips as he shoves his hands in his back pockets and rocks back on his heels.
