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“It took me so long because on foot the woods between Heavers and the Hill are vast. It was dark by the time I did, and it took me a moment to realise he was dead. I was stupid enough to think that he was tired because he took his meds and…and…it wasn’t until I felt the blood, and then I saw his face…”
“Look at me, Freddie,” I tell him, cupping his face as he stares down at my thighs. His hands are locked so tight around my side that his fingertips feel as though they might rip through the fabric and my skin. “You are fucking incredible. You are a god. You hear me? A god among men, and I’m so sorry that he was too far gone into his darkness that he didn’t see that. But you are so much more than enough because you have no limits. No boundaries. You understand me?”
“A god, huh?” He grins back at me.
The sight is phenomenal. So much so that if that’s all I get for the rest of my life, it’ll be the best life I could ever have imagined or hoped for.
“My lord,” I smirk back, bringing my lips to his, and without closing my eyes, I kiss him.
I kiss him while I watch the midnight tinging his eyes dissipate, and all that’s left are clear blue skies. I watch as he takes his first breath, and I promise myself that if there’s only one thing I ever do, it’s to love him so completely that it eradicates all the shadows of the past.
Chapter 20
FREDDIE
“Come back to bed,” Georgina tells me, meandering to the kitchen table as I’m sitting in front of my laptop again with Chips curled on the chair to my right. “It’s late, and you have work tomorrow.”
“I know, I know…” I chuckle as she sits on my lap astride my thighs in her thin cotton pyjamas that leave nothing to the imagination. Although she doesn’t close the laptop, she brings the screen down so that she’s my sole focus. As if she even needed to do that.
Since our conversation at dinner the other week, she’s been a lot more on top of me about switching off from everything outside these walls. If it were anyone else, they would’ve probably found themselves worse for wear.
“I’ve had this gut feeling that something is looming, and I can’t shake it. I’m trying to find answers, but all I keep unearthing are more questions. I’m getting to the point where I can’t think straight because I’m worrying about what’s heading towards us. It’s like driving through smog—you can’t see anything until it’s too late.”
She nods with a small smile while twisting my ring on her thumb. It looks good on her. A little clunky, but a whole lot more delicate than it does on me.
“Now you’re worried about me, and I don’t want you to be fretting. You have enough to be thinking about. I was serious earlier…you realise that, don’t you?”
“I know you were, and I know that Jordan would want me to go on. I’m just trying to compartmentalise everything still. Put it all into perspective because I don’t want to leave you.”
“I told you that I would go with you. For the audition at least…”
Another smile lights up her face. “Of course, you would, except that you’re needed here, and let’s be honest, they wouldn’t let you follow me halfway across the world when everything is on tenterhooks.”
“Georgina, you’re getting on that plane in a couple of weeks. I’ve already spoken to Francis about it, and the jet is yours. Ours, because I’m going with you. End of story.”
My brown-eyed girl bugs at me. It shouldn’t come as a surprise that I’ve already arranged it all given we’ve spoken about it every day for the last ten days. I let her in. I let her see all there is of me, and I’ll be damned if she uses that as an excuse to give up on herself. I’ve lived with this fucking thing since I was born, and as fucked up as I am, I’ve always muddled through. It wasn’t until her that I felt like I was living. So there’s no way that we’re going to stop now.
“When we’re in New York, you can choose what you want to do after the audition. If they decide they want someone else, they’re cunts, but the decision is made for you. If they have any sense and give you the part, then you make the decision that’s best for you.”
There’s not a shadow of a doubt that when she’s in front of the production team that she’ll rise to the occasion. Dancing is in her blood, woven into every cell of her DNA. Every move she makes is so fucking graceful that she could be dancing all the fucking time.
“Just do the audition. For me. I miss seeing you on a stage.”
“You’re not playing fair,” she murmurs, her voice a breathless whisper as I band her waist with my hands and nudge the tip of my nose over hers.
“Never when it comes to you.”
Reaching into the satchel on the chair to my left, I take out the small jewellery box Benedict brought her. Her face blanches at the sight of it, even though she knows I’ve held on to it.
“Before you bite my head off, listen to why I need you to wear this.”
“I won’t. I won’t wear something that mocks everything that’s happened.” Tears instantly flood her eyes as she tries to stand, but I push her back down on my lap. “Stop it. Stop it, because you’re going to hurt me, and you said that you were done doing that, so…”
“Now, who’s not playing fair?” I ask, brushing her hair back from her eyes so that she can see the necklace properly. “I’ve had a tracker put into it, underneath the gold plate on the back. Casper and I made sure that the jewellers were careful not to damage it. While all this is up in the air, we need to make sure that we know where you are at all times. You saw what happened to Arabella and to Fleur. I’m not taking any risks with you.”
“Do you know what it means?”
Casper and I had this conversation already, but I think that the meaning behind it is the reason she despises it right now, and I want to hear it from her lips.
