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“Whatever. I’m not being a pussy, and I don’t want to leave. I just…God…I want his family to like me so that I’m not a freaking bone of contention…” Another groan escapes. “Don’t even… Parker’s probably going to run a mile when he meets my mother. They already think I’m trash. When they realize my mom is a divorce short of gold digger, they’re going to hate m—”
“No one hates you,” I say, interrupting her conversation with whom I assume is her cousin.
When I step inside the room, Summer gives me a small smile. “Good luck with the engagement party plans. I’ll talk to you soon.” Hanging up, Summer tells me, “It was my cousin.”
“I thought as much.” Trying to calm my wild heart, I draw in a deep breath as I pause in front of her.
Where do I start? Where can I begin? There are so many things I want to say to her. So many fucking feelings that I have no idea how to tell her about because we need time.
“All the shit he said…”
“It’s fine, Parker. Your dad is hurting.”
“That’s not an excuse, Summer, and he has no right to talk about you the way he did or treat you with anything other than the respect you deserve.” My next words make my insides twist before I even utter them. “Do you want to leave?”
“Truthfully?”
“Yes.” Cradling her face between my hands, I bring her closer as I step flush to her and tilt it up to mine.
I search her face for any sign that she’s been crying. That’s the one thing I won’t be able to forgive about tonight. If my father has made her cry…
“What do you want?” Summer whispers back.
“It’s not about me right now. I want to know what you want to do.”
“I want you to tell me why you didn’t tell me what this weekend was.” Her hands slip into the back pockets of my jeans while I continue holding her face up to mine.
“Every year we do this. Last year I thought that it would be better than the last… That’s what people say, right? That it gets better?”
“It’s hard to know what to tell someone that’s grieving, so I think offering hope is what feels right. But it doesn’t mean it’s true for everyone or that there is a specific timeline for it.”
“Maybe. I just thought that maybe by now he would have noticed how lonely she is all the fucking time, but—” I shrug, trying to stop the resentment from billowing out of control. “I can’t bear it anymore, Sum… I…I don’t know what to do to fix this. For him, for her…for me.”
“It’s not up to you to fix them. Parker, you’re focusing so hard on making everything better for everyone else that you’re ignoring your own pain.” Wrapping an arm around my neck, she rolls onto her toes and presses a kiss to the corner of my mouth before cupping my jaw. “You’ve focused so intently on the fallout and the damage to others that you don’t realize how deeply you are hurting.”
“I caused thi—”
“No, Parker, you didn’t.” There’s no room for argument as Summer levels me with an admonishing pinch of her brow. “Let’s get all the shit straight.”
“Summer, I—”
“Did you make Jenson take those drugs?”
“No.”
“Did you force him to drive that night?”
“No, bu—”
“No buts or maybe. Stick to the facts because that’s the only way that you are ever going to be able to heal and help make this easier for your parents. You want the truth?”
My heart drops to my gut at the sad look she gives me. I hate that I put it there. That I’ve caused it.
“You can’t fix this, babe,” Summer says softly. “You’re not God or magic…as far as I know, you haven’t found the resurrection stone, right?”
“Resurec-what now?”
“Shit reference. It’s a thing in Harry Potter. One of the Deathly Hallows.”
