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She watched her words hit Elena.
Skylar had mulled over her decision all night. She loved their band, Maine Event. They’d all been playing together since high school, and Skylar always imagined them growing old together and having reunion tours after their inevitable falling out. What she hadn’t planned on was the falling out coming at her own hand. After all, it was Skylar who had gotten Elena and their four bandmates together back in high school.
Back then, none of them imagined they’d be where they are now. They were selling out venues around the country, and their albums and singles had hit the top of the charts several times. Everyone in the band loved their job, even Skylar. She just didn’t love being Elena’s secret lover. Not anymore.
Elena tucked her long dark brown hair behind her ears. It was a nervous tick; Skylar knew that. She knew Elena better than anyone.
“Sky,” Elena’s voice was barely a whisper, “I can’t.”
If Skylar wasn’t still running off the buzz from drinking all night, she might have caved in. She wanted nothing more than to pull Elena into a hug and tell her that she was sorry for getting angry. Because that’s what Skylar always did. Giving into Elena’s wants and needs had been something Skylar had been doing since she first met Elena in high school.
But it was time for things to change. Skylar had to start putting herself first. If she didn’t, she was destined to be Elena Cruz’s secret lover for the rest of her life. She’d have to deal with more paparazzi and interviews where they were asked if they were dating anyone. Skylar would have to listen to Elena nervously laugh as she told interviewers the love songs she wrote with her were fictional. All the while, Skylar knew better.
“And I can’t keep doing this. It’s been two years, Elena. Two years you’ve pulled me back into the closet, and I let you because I love you. I’ve watched you hook up with different men…”
“Which I’ve done for you,” Elena interrupted. There was a fire behind her brown eyes that hadn’t been there before. She was angry, just like Skylar. “Do you know what being out would do to our career? We’d be finished. I know things are changing, but not fast enough. People still hate us. They don’t want to go to shows where two gays are singing love songs to each other.”
“How do you know? Are you some genius all of a sudden who knows exactly what music does and doesn’t work?”
“Name another gay couple who sings together in a band.”
Skylar assumed there was one, but she couldn’t think of anyone.
“Exactly,” Elena scoffed. “Our arrangement has been working. You know I love you. You know I go on dates with those men to keep us safe. I do it all for you.” Her eyes lowered and softened, and Skylar knew she’d have to steal herself from caving in. “I love you, Sky.”
“I love you, too. But…”
“No. No buts.” Elena took a few steps toward Skylar. It was at the point in arguments that Skylar usually gave in. But not today. She took a step back from Elena.
“See, this,” she motioned between them again, “is why I can’t keep doing this. You dismiss my feelings because you think you know what’s best for me. But I’m not a kid, Elena. I know what I need, and this isn’t it. Not anymore. I need more. I want more with you, but it’s clear you don’t want that, too.”
“Sky…”
“Please,” Skylar held up her hand, “don’t.”
“So, what does this mean? You’re just going to quit the band? Let me, Andy, Erica, Michael, and Gordon down? Just because you can’t handle me being seen with a man?”
Skylar sarcastically laughed.
“God, Elena, for once, I wish you’d step down off your high horse and see things from a different perspective.”
Storming out of the bus, Skylar could hear Elena following her.
“Skylar Ford, don’t you dare walk out on me.”
“Too late.”
“Skylar!” Elena called after her, hot on her heels. She had no intention of continuing her conversation with Elena until she felt her hand on her shoulder. Skylar spun around to face her.
“What?”
“So, this is it? You’re just going to walk out on the band with two weeks left in the tour?” Her voice softened, and a tear spilled over from her eyes. “You’re going to walk out on me?”
“I have to put myself first. You should know what that’s like.”
“Just like you know what it’s like to walk out on family,” Elena spit the words at her. It was a low blow, comparing Skylar to her mother like that. Skylar resisted the urge to snap back. Her heart was too busy breaking as she finally realized everything she was destroying by walking out on the band.
“I’ll finish the tour, and then I’m done.”
