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Abby smiled at me. “So are you.”
I hoped that she was right.
Chapter 13
I made my way back to my room with my heart in a twist. I couldn’t stop thinking about my conversation with Abby and everything I had learned, not just about her and Matteo, but about others on the ship as well. I had gained a fresh perspective on how truly remarkable the staff of the cruise was. And I was once again thinking about passion, dreams, and the lengths we must go to sometimes to achieve them.
Aside from being inspired, though, I was also very worried. The news of Matteo’s recent change in behavior had me feeling horrible for the way things between he and I had ended. I had been struggling, suffering alone in my room with the heartache of his loss. I hadn’t considered he might be struggling also. It made sense he would want to leave me. I didn’t consider it might cause him grief, even still.
I got to my room and stripped naked. I turned on the shower and stepped inside, allowing the water to cool my tired, sweaty body and ease my muscles even further from my run. My legs would feel sore in the morning, but I couldn’t help but smile as the muscles in them eased under the gentle touch of the water. It had been amazing to burn all that energy for once and not let it fester inside of me.
When I was done washing up, I stepped out of the shower and reached for the hair dryer. I dried my hair, careful to scrunch it in all the right places to let my natural curl show through. I looked in the mirror, smiled, and decided today was a good day to bother with the makeup.
I carefully applied my foundation first, then the eyeshadow, blush, and mascara. I finished with a neutral peach lipstick and smacked my lips in the mirror to set it.
I smiled at my reflection, naked and beautiful, smiling back at me. For once, I looked happy and ready to meet whatever came to face me.
I went to my closet and found my favorite maxi dress—green to complement the flecks in my hazel eyes. I slipped it on, then slipped into my favorite pair of rope sandals. I looked back in the mirror and couldn’t help but chuckle.
The entirety of my outfit cost me less than $60. I had bought it at a department store clearance sale one day while shopping for laundry detergent. It looked beautiful on the mannequin, and I knew it would look great on me, too. I hid the purchase from my mother—she would be ashamed to hear of me wearing something so “common.”
I loved how it looked on me, though, and I felt not one iota of guilt for wearing it or shame for being seen with it on in public. I only wondered what Matteo would think.
“He’ll love it,” I whispered to myself. It was the perfect symbolic gesture to show him I had truly taken to heart everything he had said. I was not worried about the money or the name on the tag. I was no longer worried what my mother or Jessie might think. The dress made me happy. I felt beautiful wearing it. And I was going to continue wearing it regardless of what anyone said.
I scampered out the cabin door and made my way up the stairs, anxious to find Matteo and speak to him before he got too busy preparing the next meal. I walked to the kitchen and peeked in through the serving window—but Matteo was not anywhere to be seen.
“He’s taken the night off,” Rufus called from behind the bar.
“Has he?” I asked. “You mean Matteo?” I was shocked to hear he wouldn’t be in the kitchen. He loved what he did so much.
“Yes,” Rufus answered. “He is feeling under the weather. The staff are pivoting on the meal. Will be clam chowder or tomato bisque and paninis.”
“I’m not worried about that,” I said. “I’m sure anything the ship serves will be delicious. I am actually hoping to talk to Matteo. Do you know where I might find him?”
“If he is not feeling well, you might try him in his quarters,” Rufus said. “But also, if he is not feeling well, he may not be up for the company. He’s been hard to deal with lately, so I can’t say whether it’s a good idea to disturb him right now.”
I nodded. “I understand,” I said. “Where are his quarters? I won’t tell him you told me. It’s just important that I talk to him tonight.”
I couldn’t believe myself. I knew I must sound desperate. It was not like me to push so hard for information, and even as the words escaped my lips, I knew I sounded like an obsessed fan running down a rock star.
Rufus raised an eyebrow and looked at me quizzically. “You sure you won’t get yourself in trouble knocking on his door?” he asked.
“No,” I answered, honestly. “He may be really mad when he sees me, but it’s a risk I’m willing to take.”
“Bottom deck,” I heard Abby’s voice say from behind me as she walked past, making her own way into the kitchen. “Follow the corridor all the way to the end. There will be a sign that says “Staff Only” on a door at the left side. It’s a flight of stairs down. He’s in cabin 2.”
Rufus looked at her, shocked. “You sure we are supposed to tell them that?” he asked.
She rolled her eyes. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I guess when I saw you sneaking Niki out the other morning, I assumed you’d be a little more cool about things.”
Rufus blushed, and I turned away to keep him from seeing me laugh.
“Thank you,” I said to Abby. “I’m going to go try to talk to him.”
“Good luck!” she called out. “Follow your passion!”
I giggled, sprinting down the stairs and hallway like a child off to cause the most wonderful kind of mischief. I only stopped running when I neared Jessie’s door, slowing myself to a creeping tiptoe until I knew I was well out of her earshot. Then, I resumed my skipping until I reached the Staff-Only door.
