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“Oh, come on, Jess!” I said. “It’s not like you can’t find anyone else on this whole ship that you’re interested in. Your interests change more often than your panties, sometimes. I’m sure if you get up there and look, you’ll have someone else you’ll want to get to know by the end of the day!”
As I was saying it, I knew it was coming out much harsher than I intended. Still, I couldn’t stop the words from flowing out. It was as if I’d lost all sense of control over my snark—and this meant I was losing control of the situation. I had just handed Jessie a reason to feel sorry for herself and villainize me on a silver platter—and she wouldn’t be slow to pick up on it.
She stared at me, aghast. “I cannot believe you just said that!” she shrieked. “You make me sound so... easy! I’m not easy, Heather! You know me better than anyone else in the world! How dare you say something so judgmental about me?!”
The strangest part, though, was that no matter how much I wanted to feel guilty for saying it—I didn’t. She had had this coming for a while, and she had no right to talk about anyone else being judgmental. She was one of the most judgmental people I’d ever met when it came to the lives of others.
“I’m sorry you feel that way,” I said. “I was just speaking from experience. It’s not like you have bad luck in these games.”
She didn’t say another word. She looked at me, furious, and turned to storm out of my room, slamming the door behind her.
Finally, I had a moment to myself to think. Jess had a long history of putting me in frustrating situations and trying to make me choose between her and friends or other loved ones. In fact, I had only recently broken up with my ex, Joseph, and Jess had been the primary cause.
Joseph was a photographer—tall, handsome, and quirky in all the best ways. I’d fallen instantly in love with him when I’d met him in Paris at one of my mother’s fashion shows. Lately, she’d been dragging me along, globe-trotting to her fashion events “to prepare me” for the day I would be running the fashion line myself.
Truth be told, it wasn’t a lifestyle that excited me. I hated every minute at those events, but they were of great importance to my mother—so I never dared argue with her about going. When I’d met Joseph, it had been like a breath of fresh air. He wasn’t stuffy and stuck up like the rest of the crowd. He enjoyed his work, had fun setting up his shots, and was completely in his element talking to anyone. He was as friendly with the food vendors as he was the designers and supermodels. Unlike my mother, he didn’t seem to mind that I preferred a pair of chucks to stilettos when touring the city.
It was an idyllic, storybook romance while it lasted. The beginning of the end had come the day I introduced him to Jessie.
“That’s your best friend?!” he asked me later that night, flabbergasted at my choice. We had gone out to dinner as a group with a guy she was dating, and she’d been terrible to the wait staff. Her behavior toward the cab driver wasn’t any better.
“How can you stand to even be associated with her?” he asked me.
I had no good answer for him.
When Jess had learned that he didn’t like her, she’d immediately commenced a campaign to try to make me break up with him.
“You can do better than him,” she would say. “Why would you want to date him anyway? He’s a photographer and not even a really famous one. Anyone with a nice camera can do what he does. He’s just after your money.”
“He doesn’t care about money,” I’d counter-argued. “He wants to be a nature photojournalist, but right now he can’t make a living in that. He’s building a portfolio in the meantime to chase his real passions later.”
Jessie had laughed heartily. “His passions?” she asked. “If his passions are taking pictures, then he’s pretty short-sighted and has a low standard of life, don’t you think?”
I didn’t agree with her. Not one bit. But I was powerless to stand up to her, too.
A few weeks after they met, I got a phone call from him telling me we needed to end things. He never really explained why. He just said he’d had a conversation with Jess and come to some realizations about us as a couple, and it was time to end it where it was.
I was devastated, but even suffering that loss, I’d never asked Jess what she’d said to him. I knew what it was like to argue with her, and I couldn’t allow myself to get caught up in the drama that was Jessie any longer.
I thought about the situation with Joseph and Jess, while I drifted off to sleep.
When I woke up, it was mid-afternoon, and my stomach was growling. I desperately needed to eat.
The upper deck was surprisingly quiet. Everyone must have been in their cabins, staving off the earliest inklings of sea-sickness. The only noise to be heard was the clinking and clamoring of the kitchen staff, cleaning up lunch and beginning to prepare for the supper rush. I thought about going back to my cabin to await the later meal, but a loud growling in my stomach told me I wouldn’t last.
“I didn’t see you at lunch!” I heard a friendly voice call out. I looked up to see Matteo standing, smiling in the doorway of the kitchen.
“I fell asleep and missed it!” I said, allowing myself to laugh at the predicament I’d found myself in. “My body is real mad at me for it!”
Matteo threw a hand up to calm me. “No worries!” he said. “Would you like a lettuce wrap with pancetta and tomato? I can make you one real quick!”
“That sounds amazing!” I said, graciously, sliding into a seat at the bar.
“Not a worry in the world!” he said, drying his freshly washed hands on a clean towel, then swinging it over his shoulder as he began to slice the tomato. “I was hoping to get to see you again, veloce!”
“Veloce?” I asked, giggling.
“Yes!” he laughed. “Veloce! Speedy!”
