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I’m too on edge to respond. I know she’s right. I owe so many people apologies for how I’m acting. Without Julia, I’m the worst version of myself. This isn’t going away either. It only seems to worsen every day she’s not here.
The police haven’t made any progress, and it’s driving me crazy. We have fucking video evidence of the man taking her. But they still aren’t able to identify who it is. Because of course, “Chad” is fictional.
Kelly knows nothing. The police questioned her until I had to drag her out crying. She never said anything useful. Even when I spoke with her about it later, the only details she shared with me were that she didn’t actually know him well but thought his name was John. Not that it’s entirely unusual for victims. Some people need to share, and others need to keep things to themselves until they can process the memories. Until they sort them into more manageable pieces.
The most frustrating part of the process is knowing Julia could be in pain. I’m helpless to do anything. Every morning I wake up dreading what the day may bring. It will either be good or terrible news. There is no in-between.
Only when she’s found safe will I be able to breathe. But every day passing where they have no new information is pure torture.
The lines between right and wrong are starting to blur as life goes on without her. The taste of iron in my mouth reminds me how, given the chance, I would love to see John bloodied beyond recognition.
The thought of that kind of violence only makes the tightness in my chest worsen. The possibility of someone harming Julia is not an image I want to conjure. The bastard stabbed her with a syringe to take her away. Who knows what he and his buddies will do to her if that’s the escalation they are willing to take to obtain a person? Because surely this man is not smart enough to be working alone.
“Jay, you’re not listening, are you?”
“Sorry.”
“No, you’re really not.” Rosie exhales, and I can see her eyes narrow as she thinks through something. “We’re worried about you. The police are doing everything they can, and you check in with them every day. You’re hyper-focused on keeping the club running for her, and Julia would be thankful for you taking care of everyone. But you’re kind of falling apart, and it’s starting to scare the staff. I’m worried about you too, and I don’t want to see you continue like this. She wouldn’t want this for you.”
I know she’s right. I am starting to scare myself, if I’m being honest. Even Julia’s dog, Spencer, has been nervous around me since I brought him back to my place. The most lovable and chill dog I’ve ever met is scared of me. It’s an awful feeling.
One more to add to all of the others.
Nothing makes sense anymore. My whole world is off its axis without her, and I’m not sure how to right myself. Shame and guilt roar in my ear day and night, threatening to consume me. I need to do something. Anything to feel like I’m making progress. Anything to assure me I will get her back.
Hours later, I’m on the floor, and my phone vibrates in my pocket. I pull it out to see an unknown number. My feet are already moving, and I give Rosie a silent nod, gesturing to the office.
“Jay Maddox.”
“Hi, Jay. This is Detective Bacon calling about your friend’s case.”
“Oh. Detective.” I hold in my laugh. Despite the difficulties of this week, I will never get over this woman’s name. It makes me chuckle every time. “Do you have any information? Have you found her?”
“We still haven’t been able to locate her. I’m sorry.” I know it’s coming, but the statement hurts nonetheless. “However,” she says, and my heart picks up, “your friend Kelly was more helpful than we originally thought. We’ve been able to identify the man that took her. Do you know John Higley by any chance? Goes by Little John?”
My prayers are answered for once.
“Never heard of him before.” I hesitate to confirm. “He was the guy who took her?”
“It appears so. We haven’t been able to locate him to make an arrest.” The detective pauses. “I’m not supposed to tell you, but we suspect that he’s connected to Mathieson Enterprises. I wouldn’t be surprised if this was somehow involved.”
The detective’s tone belies only honest and genuine concern. She doesn’t sound like someone who twists words or information. But people are by nature selfish and manipulative.
Except for Julia. Except for the one woman I know who pours every piece of herself into those around her. Except the person who drops everything for a friend.
The realization hits me after a moment. I have a name.
When Kelly finally told us the man’s name was John, Rosie worked through her network best she could to find out his identity, but we came up empty. I was powerless to do anything for those weeks because I didn’t know anything. But now, I’m armed with the man’s name. We can lean on Rosie’s friends, shady or not, to find this asshole and press him to the edge until I get what I need from him. I don’t have to follow the straight and narrow anymore; I have options.
I’m not typically a violent person. But for Julia, I’ll be anything she needs. Right now, she needs someone to hunt down her enemies. Someone to free her from whatever hell she’s being held captive in.
“Detective, I have to go.”
“Oh, okay. I do have a few more questions for you. When you have time, please call—”
I don’t allow her to finish before I end the call. I’m already moving to find Rosie. Probably our head of security, Gus, too. They will know what to do with the name.
I will find him, and then I will find her. I have to.
