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My hand is near her face, and I can’t help but drag my fingers down her neck as I retreat. When she reaches for me, I worry my touch is unwanted. But as she tightens her grip on my hand and pulls, I relax.
“Come ’ere.” She tugs me forward.
“You want me to…” I search for the appropriate word. “Lie with you?”
The small noise of affirmation she lets out makes my heart soar. This is not the behavior I would expect from a woman who has survived a man like Arrick. The fact she wants my touch is the greatest gift I can be given. I want to hold her, touch her, kiss her, but I would never want to do anything without her permission.
So much was already taken from her. I won’t add to that.
Toeing off my shoes, I move to lie beside her. My hand remains firmly in her grasp, and my arm drapes across her waist. She wriggles back a bit when I settle in and embrace her fully. Some part of this woman trusts me, and I cling to the warmth the thought brings. I bring myself up onto my elbow so I can see her face.
“I have to tell you something,” I murmur.
“Later.”
“Okay.” I feel her drift off, and I lie there studying her while she sleeps. I will never get over how beautiful she is.
Leaning in to smell her deeply, my nose brushes her neck, and her face turns towards me. Without a thought, I journey up her neck and place a delicate kiss at the soft corner of her jaw. The hum she emits brings levity to my tired soul.
We lie there like that for a while, and I watch over her to make sure there are no disturbances. I sense her becoming restless as some dream seems to take over. Her skin turns hot, and her whole body begins to shake. Something’s wrong; she’s lost in a dream. I can see the anxiety manifest on her face.
I want to help her. I want to bring her out from wherever she’s lost herself. It pains me to see her like this.
I remember that my abuela used to sing to me when I was young whenever I was frightened. The same tune every time, though I don’t know the lyrics. I start to hum in hopes it will soothe her.
The rough melody seems to calm her, and as she calms down, the nightmare overtaking her slumbering thoughts dissipates. It hurts to see her in distress. It isn’t something I want to repeat.
It all happens in a flash, but I wonder if this is how it is and will be for her every night. That she will suffer through nightmares that make her whole body seize with fear. That she’ll be dragged back into those memories by herself every night she’s alone.
I lay there watching her until she wakes up and turns to face me.
“We really do need to talk,” I say. My fingers run through her hair.
She nods, giving me permission to continue.
“Are you hungry? Thirsty?” I shouldn’t, but it’s all I can do to delay telling her everything. She deserves to know, but I don’t want to get her hopes up. What if I fail her? What if I’m unable to protect her in the end?
She shakes her head, staring at me curiously. “Something’s wrong.”
The words are flat coming from her lips. Devoid of all emotion, the phrase is evidence of a protective shield going up.
I hate it.
I hate seeing her defenses go up around me. I don’t want to be that kind of a person to her.
“Yeah. No. Well.” I’m not a man who’s great with words, but it seems especially true around her. It’s as though everything becomes clearer around her, but at the same time, everything is more confusing. And I’m constantly falling all over myself around her.
“I left earlier.” She nods. “I went to visit with someone.”
I have no idea how to tell her. I don’t really have any more details than when I left Quinn earlier. Yes, I know people are looking for her, but there’s no way to be sure of what I’m sending her back to.
Even if I can get her out of here safely, I have no idea what her life on the outside is like. The threats within the compound are known, and I can do my best to protect her. But the second she’s gone, that security is gone. She could be well taken care of, but what if I send her back to something as bad as this or worse?
“Look, I don’t really know where to start,” I say.
She looks up at me with such trust, and I don’t want to sacrifice that for anything. “The beginning, maybe?” It almost seems like she’s trying to joke with me. Almost.
“I told you my name is Griffin, Griffin Reyes. Everyone here knows me as Perez though.”
