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13
Love Like Mine
Juliana
Wakingupnextto Griffin is a new kind of peace. In the middle of a living nightmare, I’ve found tranquility, and I cling to him.
Snuggling closer, I sense when he wakes up. In our slumber, I’ve wrapped myself around him like a snake does its prey, but unlike the snake, my prey is holding on to me equally tightly. It seems Griffin, too, is incapable of letting me go too far from him.
“Hey, how’d you sleep?” he asks.
Hearing the question out loud, I realize I slept through the night. There were no nightmares. No terrors to fight in my sleep.
“Better.”
“Good.” He kisses my forehead.
I love small moments of affection like that. We lie there for a moment, enjoying the peaceful quiet.
“I need to get an update from Quinn. I’ll have to leave, okay?” I nod, understanding, but I still don’t want him to go. It seems neither does he. His arms are wrapped around me, and his hand absentmindedly brushes through my hair.
“I’ll make you something to eat.” He struggles to pull away.
The offer makes me smile. Last night I discovered a new quality to this man, and I realize this is part of who he is. He’s a caretaker and protector, similar to how I am with so many of the people I love. The difference is my selflessness tends to be a part of my search for love and approval. I like to feel needed, and it’s draining sometimes. It’s the opposite for Griffin; it’s like his need to do things for me brings him fulfillment. There seems to be a purpose to him I don’t quite understand.
It’s sweet. He’s sweet. It’s all so sickeningly sweet.
Finally, we unwrap ourselves from each other. Griffin pulls out a shirt and pants to wear and heads into the kitchen.
The tranquil moment is broken by a ringing fire alarm going off, and loud thundering noises begin in the hall.
Griffin looks back at me, panicked and unsure. He springs into action and starts shoving items at me as he speaks. “You need to get dressed. I don’t know what’s happening. Quinn should have called me or given me warning if they were doing anything, but even if this isn’t them, we need to use this to get you out, okay?”
I see the moment where his thoughts switch over. He’s in full protector mode. The gears are turning, and the man is making plans.
I’m still wearing his shirt, but rush to put on the discarded pair of pants from last night and the boots in front of me. My body screams with every movement, but I understand the stakes. Probably more than he does. I’d been in that room for days. He hadn’t. If anyone knows how desperately people need to stay away from this place, it’s me.
Only I want to stay.
With Griffin.
The appearance of guns shouldn’t startle me, but it’s the first moment when reality sets in. This is real. I have an opportunity to escape the man who took me, kept me, hurt me. I can go back to Jay and my friends and my life.
But what about Griffin?
As he crosses my path once more, I reach out to grab him by the collar of the jacket he threw on and stop him in front of me. “Griffin, what happens after?”
“What do you mean, what happens after? You’re out, and we get you somewhere safe.”
“And you do what? Go back to this? Alone?”
It finally seems to dawn on him what I’m asking about.
Us. What happens to us after. That’s the real question.
This shouldn’t be our immediate concern. Things need to happen, and everything will move quickly. But this moment feels vital. After what we’ve shared over the past week and what happened last night, I can’t walk away. I need him whether he wants to be there for me or not. I hope he does, but ultimately, I can’t leave him.
“Look, right now, we focus on getting you back to your boyfriend, okay?” His expression goes blank at the term. “I can promise you this, I will never walk away from you. Not for anything. Not ever.”
