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21
Kiss or Kill
Juliana
Ialmostdon’tbelieve it when Cy says they are arranging to bring Jay here. Cy isn’t a person to give in so easily. If anything, all the time I’ve spent with him taught me he is as serious as he is lethal. But the relief I feel when he finally listens is a welcome change.
Over the past weeks, I’ve learned to trust these people. Sage has taken care of me more attentively than any doctor, nurse, or even parent ever has. Cy builds me up and makes me feel strong. Ember is still a bit of a mystery, but they’re ready to step in when you need them.
I think they realize how much I need this though. It’s one thing to be surrounded by supportive people, but I need my best friend back. I miss my home, my dog, the club. Normalcy in general. Knowing I can’t go back to my life makes me anxious. I need the comfort of routine and familiarity. So much is out of my control, and I feel powerless.
They’ll make it happen. They don’t tell me anything beyond that. No date or time. Nothing for me to cling to other than a small sliver of hope from a half promise.
So when Cy storms into my room grumbling, with arms full of baggage, I am taken aback.
“What’s all of this?” I ask.
“Picked up your friend. Evidently you’re moving in with all the crap he brought.”
“Jay’s here?”
“Yeah. Brought some dog too.”
I’m up and off the bed before he can finish the sentence.
Turning out of my bedroom, I race down the hallway towards the main living areas, hoping it’s where I will find them.
I still hate running.
Sure enough, I reach the living room as Jay walks into the space. I freeze in place at the sight of him.
Paws on my thigh redirect my attention, and I look down to find Spencer bouncing in circles and jumping up to greet me. I fall to my knees and embrace him. He peppers puppy kisses across my face while wriggling out of control.
I don’t notice I’m crying until a hand brushes away the tears. Looking up, I meet Jay’s gaze full-on, and the tears come harder. His hair is longer, and his face looks tired. Shadows live under his eyes like he’s haunted by ghosts. This is not the man I left, and the reminder shatters me.
He wraps me up in a tight embrace. We don’t pull apart until we hear Kieran cry out.
”Is that a dog?!” He runs over, sliding to his knees with us.
I let go of Spencer in time for Kieran to crash into us, scoop him up, and bury his face in soft fur.
Seeing Kieran and my fur baby together brings a smile to my face. I chuckle to myself and try to breathe through the combination of tears and hiccupping laughter. The boy has clearly claimed Spence as his own, which adds a necessary levity to the moment. I’m completely overwhelmed, but I’d take these feelings over the emptiness that has consumed me for months.
“What’s his name?” Kieran has a sparkle in his eyes. He gets the same one whenever he talks about his special interests like the project he and Ember are working on. The two are going to be trouble.
“His name is Spencer or Spence,” I say.
Kieran adopts the slightly higher voice everyone uses with babies and cute animals. “Hi, Spencer! Can I call you Spency?”
My heart swells for the two when newly nicknamed Spency gives Kieran a big kiss on the nose. Immediately, peals of laughter fill the room.
“Alright, Kieran. Let’s give them a little bit of space.” Sage’s voice comes from across the room.
We must be quite the scene. All of us on the floor, Kieran holding his new best friend, me holding mine with tears streaming down my face while laughing out of control, and Jay trying his best to hold it together.
“It’s alright, Sage. Spencer loves making new friends.” I wink at Kieran as I speak through my tears, and a grin widens across his face.
It’s then I realize how close Jay and I are sitting. How his hand rests on my arm with his thumb passing gently back and forth over my skin. It’s like he can’t bear not to touch me.
