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“I promise you it won’t feel this way forever.” I’ll make sure of it.
“It feels like… It’s like I’m alive, but I’m not living anymore. I don’t know how to.” She curls tighter into me. “Jay, I don’t know what hope looks like anymore. I can’t.” Her breath is ragged.
“Then I’ll be right next to you while you look for it. I’m never gonna let you do anything alone ever again. You’re not even allowed to take a shit without me, okay?”
Even though I can’t see it, I feel her smile.
“Jay?”
“Yeah?”
“How do you think this all ends?”
I cling to the hope she isn’t talking about anything immediate, but the subtext is still there.
“What kind of ending do you want?”
But it’s her turn to grin like an idiot when she responds. “A happily ever after, of course.”
“Then that’s what you’ll get. I’ll make sure of it, baby doll.”
Without thinking, I kiss the point where her neck meets her jaw. Her breaths turn shallow, and when she turns to look at me, we drink each other in.
“You haven’t called me that in a long time.”
“What? Baby doll?”
“Yeah. Not since that night, after we met on Halloween.”
I must look like a smug asshole. “You’re forgetting about another very important night though.”
The sudden blush rising in her cheeks flushes through her body quickly. My wandering hands stray from the safety of her arms to the soft skin poking out from beneath the T-shirt she wears. My lips trail to her collarbone, where I tease her through the worn fabric.
Then bite, hard.
She gasps and arches into me.
“You were a very good doll for me that night. The perfect plaything.” I breathe the words into her ear. “I told you something then. Do you remember it?”
She goes still. Her sharp intake of breath tells me she definitely remembers.
“It was years ago… You never…” The words fall out of her rapidly with no thought fully completing itself. “We never… I thought…”
“I know.” I debate not telling her my most vulnerable truth. But this is Julia, my best friend, my other half; there’s no holding back between us. “I made you a promise, but it’s never been about that for me. I want you. I didn’t realize it until you were taken. But I want you. I want everything with you.”
Everything stills, and I pray to whoever is listening I didn’t push her away.
“Then take me,” she says. Satisfaction swells in my chest. Quickly followed by an intense lust. “Please.”
Her chest rises and falls more rapidly with each breath, and the movement draws my eyes to the peaks of her taut nipples. I smirk, remembering how she liked it with me last time. How she embraced everything I gave her. Rough or gentle, it didn’t really matter. How she’d gone past her point of comfort with me to find a new kind of paradise amidst the pleasure and pain.
“You want me to take you? Then you give me everything. Every moment of fear, doubt, pain, and pleasure. You give them all up to me.”
My hand reaches up to brush her nipple lightly before circling endlessly.
“Yes,” she gasps.
“The man. The one I killed?” I pause, looking for acknowledgment. “Do you want to know what I did to him?”
