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"Because I was fucking done, Bex. I was done, and I needed out."
"So, you left." And again, she asks me, “But why the fuck are you here? Why now?"
"I left, and I had nowhere else to go. So, I went where my people are."
"And what, we're you're people?"
"Well . . . yeah," I say quietly. "I thought you were."
"We're not your fucking people, Naomi. We're having some fun, playing around."
Her words hit me like a truck. I knew my relationship with Alvie has been purely based in our friendship and kink, but I thought there was more between Bex and me. I thought we had a connection that was going somewhere.
"I thought we were friends, Bex. Maybe more."
She laughs darkly. "Sure, we're friends. But we've never talked about anything more. I've never asked for anything more than fun from you."
"That's all I am? A bit of fun?" I say, letting go of Alvie’s hand I’ve been clutching and stepping back from the bed.
"Yeah. And this isn't fun, Naomi.” She steps in closer, trapping me where I stand. “This is real life. This is what it looks like to be in a real relationship."
"And everything up to now has been fake? Is that what you're saying?"
"No, Naomi. It's all been real, but it doesn't mean anything." She glances over to where Alvie sleeps. "Right now, I need to be with my husband. I need to figure out what the fuck I'm supposed to do here. And I don't need you around to do that."
"Fine. I'll leave." I push past her and head for the door, wanting off this hellscape roller coaster.
"I just . . . I can't deal with you right now on top of everything else," she says as I approach the doorway.
"So let me help. Let me be here for you," I plead as I turn back to look at her.
"Just . . ." She sighs. "Just leave, Naomi."
My jaw tightens at her dismissal.
Tears stream down my cheeks as I make my way through the hospital and back to my car. My chest feels like it's been ripped open and my heart torn out.
I should be the one in a hospital bed, being treated for a broken heart.
I thought I meant more to them than that. Could have sworn that there was something more between us, but the stark reality of Bex's feelings being thrown in my face are all I need to disillusion myself of that notion.
Just a bit of fun. Nothing more. Practically a toy to be used. I'm tired of being tossed around, tossed away. If that's how she feels about me, then fine.
I can deal with a broken heart. I'll move on eventually.
Wiping away my tears, I start my car and pull out of the hospital parking lot.
I'm on autopilot, driving back along the path that brought me here. Hoping that the clock will rewind as I reverse my path.
I'll go back to before, when I was simply driving to The Playground for a weekend of fun with my best friend.
That's all I'm good for after all.
Fun.
Chapter 23
Bex
