AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I slump my shoulders. The lightness is replaced with a heaviness that sits deep in my chest. “He’s Roman, Dad. I don’t think he’s capable of loving someone for the long term. Sure, he cares about me. We’re best friends, but that’s where it ends.”
“Your mother and I started out as friends. Some of the best relationships start out with friendship. It’s a great backbone.”
I nod. “I know. I know. But there’s something different about us. I’d hate to tell him how I feel and have him not agree, and then our friendship would be ruined. I’d never be able to handle that. Or what if we started something, and it didn’t work out? I just feel like there’s no going back to where we are now.” I shrug. “He’s dealing with a lot right now. I can’t make it all about me when he’s going through a rough time.”
“What’s wrong?” My father’s eyes are etched with worry.
I explain Roman’s anxiety, and discuss his panic attacks. “I think he just needs time.”
My father gives me a half-smile. “Time is something none of us have a lot of.”
“I know, but I’m scared.”
“I could give you a ton of cliché quotes about trying and regrets, but you already know all of those.” He sighs and smiles at me. “Here’s the only advice I have for you. Don’t let the what-ifs keep you from going after what you want. If I had listened to the what-ifs, I would never have asked out your mother. I often wonder what my life would have been like without marrying your mother.”
“And?”
“And I can’t fathom it. There’s never a clear picture. I didn’t get to spend a lifetime with your mother like we planned, but I’m still the luckiest man on the planet because I got to love her, and she loved me. It took me a long time to come to that conclusion. For many years, I thought your mother didn’t love me.” Tears well in his eyes. “But now I know she loved me. She loved us. God, Greer, she loved you so much.”
I try to fight back the tears, but there’s no use. “I know she did, Dad.”
He smiles even though he’s crying too. “I just remembered something.”
“What?”
“Your mother knew you liked Roman, and one night, she told me she had caught Roman staring at you. You were out back doing cartwheels, and he was in the kitchen watching you. Your mother said Roman told her you were just so pretty it was hard not to stare at you.” He chuckles. “Your mother told me that night she thought you two would end up together.”
“Really?”
“Really.” He grabs a tissue from the box. “Your mother had a sixth sense about those kinds of things. Remember when she predicted that the mailman’s wife would have a boy?” He smiles wide, his eyes doing that far off look like he’s remembering the day. “Well, she had that boy.”
I grab a tissue and sit back in my chair, blotting the tears from my eyes. “I wonder what Mom would think now.”
“She’d want you to risk everything and take the leap. She’d want you to be happy.”
I shake my head. “Fear makes you believe things that make it impossible to think clearly.”
My father leans forward, resting his forearms on the table. “Greer, I think life might surprise you if you give it a chance.”
“Who is this man? And what have you done with my father?” I say with a tiny laugh.
“I’ve been seeing a shrink, and she’s helping me deal with the death of your mother. For so many years, I had so much anger. I hated life. I hated it so much, and now I see it’s all been a lie. When your mother died I felt like a part of me died that day too.”
I nod. “You’re right. I have felt so much guilt about Mom’s ‘suicide’, thinking it was my fault.”
“No,” my father says with regret in his eyes. “I never knew you felt guilty for it. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you.”
I smile. “Well, you can be here for me now. If I put everything on the line and Roman rejects me, I’ll need you to help me pick up the pieces.”
“I’ll be here.” His eyes never waver from mine. “I’ll always be here.”
TWENTY-TWO
ROMAN
I ease my SUV into a parking spot outside the Magnolia Ridge Nursing Home, a place I'd rather not visit. Stepping out, I prepare myself mentally for the impending encounter.
I suck in a deep breath, letting it out slowly, my gaze fixed on the weathered facade of the building, its bricks weathered and its windows oversized. It's a sight that causes a mix of emotions.
